I'd never loved anyone before. All previous relationships were based off of "like liking" them - I mistook friendship as feelings. But this time it was love , I tried not to - I tried to shut down my feelings, I tried to avoid you, I thought ignoring emotions would make them go away.
By now I understood that I liked you - a lot, and yet when we got together I was still cautious - I had built my walls up high and strong so they could never be broken down. But as time progressed they started to splinter - never break yet.
Then i gave up trying
A hurricane struck the barricades and my walls collapsed beneath me - trapping me below them - suffocating.
And I still held on
Because you offered me air to breathe beneath the rubble
A cloud, cradling me and lifting me into the sun as if I was weightless. I snuggled into your chest and for the first time - I felt safe, wanted, cared for, like I was worth something
Until one day it started to thunder, rumbling though the air like a cruel laugh
The skies turned grey and lightening struck close by
I dove from your arms and plummeted to the ground. I landed on shards and stones - creaking and destroying my already aching body
I was broken
But I crawled out of the debris
I clambered my way to the castle that was once within the walls and lay myself down on a bed - imagining that the warmth came from you and not a blanket
So everyday I watch your cloud pass : always there but out of reach, maybe one day you'll rescue some other girl from her walls, float away on the wind
Like you could've all along
