† chlorine-The Society

rotten

CHAPTER nineteen

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Like a F-ing God or Something
part5
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•it makes me feel•
rotten
⚚⚚⚚

The room was quiet. no one spoke. A blue aura surrounded the room from the video game that was on the TV. Jason sat on the floor with a controller. Luke and Will sat in the chairs to the right of the TV. Luke had his head thrown back and a beer in his hand. Allie was nowhere to be seen, she had gone straight to her room not wanting to be a part of the sulking. Bleu was sitting on the couch, curled up in the corner, as far away from anyone else as she could get. her eyes were fixed on the TV as tears stained both sides of her cheeks. Grizz was about a foot away from her on the couch. he hand was laying next to Bleu's, but they weren't touching. no one had said a word since they had left the woods.

Gordie walked in from the kitchen with his hand gloved in a dirtied white kitchen mitt holding a silver tray. He spoke gently and softly.

"Found some pizza bagels in the freezer, in the basement. Anyone?" He stated before walking into the room.

Grizz and Will shook their heads at the comment. Everyone was silent as Gordie held out the tray.

"Bleu?" Gordie asked turning to the only girl in the room.

Bleu just looked up at him and didn't say anything.

"Those the kind with pepperoni?" Luke asked lifting his head.

Jason reached over and grabbed a handful not looking away from the game.

"Does it really matter?" Will asked while standing up and going to the kitchen.

"I don't really wanna eat meat right now," Luke said as Will walked out of the room.

Bleu brought her sleeve to her face and wiped away a tear. Grizz looked over at her, he scooted closer to her and gently as brushed the hair out of her face, being sure not to accidentally touch her skin. Grizz looked at sadness on her face. How did they get here? What did they-she do to deserve this?

Jason took one of the pieces out of his mouth and put it back on the tray Gordie was holding.

"Still frozen in the middle, bro."

Gordie ignored Jason's comment and set the tray on the table in the middle of the room. Clanging came from the kitchen as Will grabbed a few beers. He walked back into the room and handed one to Grizz, the turned to Bleu.

"You want a beer?" He asked.

Bleu didn't respond and Will set it softly on the table in front of her, then walked back to his seat.

As everyone basked in the silence until the soft sounds of a door closing filled the room. Harry walked into the house. Luke looked over at him with a confused look.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Grizz asked, his voice rather loud and strong.

Harry was in all black and his hands were shoved deep in the pockets of his black sweatshirt. Jason paused the video game looked over at Harry, the controller limp in his hands.

"Hey, Bleu," Harry said as he approached the somber girl. Bleu didn't respond to Harry's words. "Bleu-"

"What do you want?" She asked with a stern voice as she stared straight ahead.

"Can we talk?" Harry asked but Bleu still didn't respond. "Not-not here, I mean...just us."

Bleu didn't answer Harry's question, in fact, she never even looked over at him. She continued to stare ahead at the blank wall. The boys were quiet, none of them wanted to tell Harry to leave because they didn't know if Bleu wanted to talk to him. Harry stood silent and alone for a minute before he spoke up.

"Okay. Um I-I'm sorry." Harry started hesitantly. "I'm so sorry for what happened and what I said. I never meant for any of this, an-any of that turn into-"

"Get out," Bleu whispered as tears ran down both sides of her face.

"What?" Harry said looking up at her.

"Get out." Bleu raised her voice as she turned to look at Harry.

Harry nodded his head and turned to leave. Bleu turned her head back to the wall. As soon as the sound of the door closing echoed through the house Bleu quickly walked upstairs, wiping away tears as she walked.

When she got upstairs she laid her back on the headboard and pulled the covers up to her chin. She closed her eyes but all she could do was relive the moment.

Grizz walking away. Grabbing the gun. Steadying her arm. Staring at Dewey's head. Aiming. Pulling the trigger. The bang ringing through her ears. The blood. The liquid dripping down his ginger hair as if someone had dumped a bucket of water on him. The blood dripping from his hands to his khaki pants and on to the forest floor.

Bleu's eyes shot open but she closed them again.

The gun, bullets. Bang. Blood. The sound of birds and bugs. Blood. Silence. The gun. Dripping. The stains. Blood. Salty tears. Yelling, pleading. Bang. Blood.

Bleu opened her eyes again but closed them. She was torturing herself, punishing herself for her actions. Reliving the moment over and over for hours. Eventually, she fell asleep but she dreamt of the gun and the bang and the blood and her eyes shot open, once again. She only gained about an hour or two of decent sleep before the images came back.

For the next hour, Bleu sat in silence doing everything she could to not close her eyes, staring at the carpet until a soft creak caused her to look up. Grizz slipped through the door and stood at the foot of her bed.

He slowly walked over to her and sat on her bed. His weight dipping the bed sheets down. Bleu turned and threw her legs off the bed, so she was next to Grizz. When she adjusted herself next to him he slipped his hand in her.

Grizz sighed as a tear escaped his eye.

"You don't really know what you're capable of until you..."

Bleu nodded along with his words. Her eyes were bloodshot from the sleep deprivation and crying.

"What does that say about me?" She asked as she looked over at him.

Grizz shook his head at Bleu's words.

"You couldn't do it. I could."

Grizz shook his head again.

"You had too." His voice cracked. "And I didn't-I didn't mean it that way."

"You didn't have too, it's true." Bleu looked over at Grizz. "He did two things, Grizz."

"Who?" Grizz asked.

"Dewey, he did two things. He killed my family and then he made me kill him. ...I can't decide which is worse and it makes me feel rotten."

Grizz looked over at Bleu. He stood up and moved closer to her. He softly laid his head down on her shoulder. Bleu looked down.

"Ever since I was a little girl I've longed for real silence. The kind that you can't find but you stumble upon in a cabin somewhere on a lake without a moon. Where you hear every little thing and your thoughts come alive." A tear fell onto her hand. "Out there, today, in the woods, I heard that silence and it was almost peaceful, calming. Then I looked up a saw Greg Dewey slumped over with blood falling from his head and onto his pants and I realized that kind of silence isn't real. It never will be."

Grizz looked over at Bleu as she closed her eyes and tears fell down her cheeks. He lifted her head and wiped a tear from her cheek then he placed his head back on her shoulder and she laid her head on top of his. Bleu stared off. That calming, beautiful silence filled the room, but Bleu didn't want it. She listened for a sound, any sound that would give her hope.