A sadistic monster needs another sadistic monster to survive- Gintama Fanfiction

Weddings are just funerals with cake

It's been a normal day at Odd Jobs. Gintoki slept, with a new JUMP book over his face, Kagura eating rice with raw egg, the 10th plate, and a weird pair of glasses cleaning the kitchen. Sadaharu laying in the corner of the room, sleeping.

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COME ON PLEASE THE READERS WON'T GO ON IF YOU GUYS CONTINUE WITH THAT LAZY ADDITUDE!!

"Oh man why is that bitch screaming again. Go write some fanfiction about Haikyuu again", Gintoki said, letting out a deep yawn. "Oh, I think she's right Gin-san, we should get to wo-... OI SHE CALLED ME A WEIRD PAIR OF GLASSES THAT BRAT", the weird pair of glasses yelled from the kitchen.

"STOP CALLING ME A WEIRD PAIR OF GLASSES YOU- huh?"

The doorbell rang, but they didn't expect anyone. Could that be... A client?!

"Oh please for the sake of our dinner today, please. Behave. You. Two", Shinpachi said to the both still sitting in the living room, doing literally nothing.

Shinpachi opened the door, finding a small girl standing there, with dark brown hair, a school uniform in dark blue and a blue pair of glasses. Shinpachi immediatly blushed, since he was totally turned on by loli girls.

"SHUT UP BITCH I ONLY LIKE OTSU-CHAN!", he yelled out of his lungs, turning red again, now out of anger. (Lol I'm in danger.)

"Ehm, sorry... I-I don't know what I did... but could you listen to my request... O...Otsu-Fanboy-san?", the cute girl asked. Which immediatly blushed after getting called cute.

"Sure sure! Come in, I'm sorry for yelling at you, we are cursed lately, nothing to worry about!"

He smiled friendly at the hopefully good paying customer, and lead her into the house, towards the two idiots, they actually tried to act serious, Kagura, still swallowing some of the rice. Oh Kagura if only you knew which things you will swallow later haha... She immediatly spit it all out of i don't know, maybe disgust, and all landing in Gintokis poor face. "Listen you bitch! I won't swallow anything besides food, remember that!!", she screamed towards the empty ceiling, really Kagura-chan, are you going crazy?~

She tried her best to act serious, swallowing her anger... yhea that's what I meant before, Kagura-chan you're such a perverted girl~

All went silent.

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"E-Ehm so I wanted to ask you for a love issue...", cute girl explained, sitting down across from Kagura and Gintoki. "It's... kind of... embarassing", she started to say, "but... I fell in love with a police man.. h-he seems like a very nice person", she told, having a blush on her face and she smiled a little bit.

"We do jobs, but we aren't f**king tinder, understood?", Gintoki said.

"I pay 10.000 Yen each of you."

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"So here he is the most time, you say?", Kagura asked, while they aleady stood in front of a building, a small one with a big "DANGO" sign on top of it.

"Yes. He seems to buy dangos here and then takeing a nap on that bench. I don't really know if that's what police men do, but oh well, he probably knows what he does- Oh! I think he's coming!", she said, leading the three to a corner to stalk the police men that came across the street. As soon as they saw the black golden uniform and the red eye mask on that light brownish hair, they all went silent, blinking, as if they couldn't believe what they saw right now.

"No. No Lady. He definitly doesn't know what he's doing."

Suddenly, the urge to get 10.000 Yen each went away, not in a million years would they arrange him a date. First, they aren't f**king tinder. Second, that bitch doesn't deserve a girlfriend. Third, he belongs zu Kagura-

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Sorry, I suddenly fell unconscious. Where were I? Ah yhea,

Never ever would they arrange him a date. Not even if Gintoki pays his rent. Not even if Glasses doesn't wear Shinpachi anymore. Just...NO!

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"Okay Kagura you do it", Gintoki suddenly decided, pushing her towards the sadist boy, who now took his seat at a bench, munching on his dangos.

"Oi, you will regret this Gin-chan!", she yelled back, stumble towards him and falling on her knees in front of him. She looked up, blinking at the guy, who also just blinked at her, then putted on a sadistic grin.

"Ohh? Does the China girl finally give up? Yhea yhea that's right, get on your knees Bitch~"

Without warning he started to step on her head, kicking it with just a little bit force.

"O-OI YOU BASTARD STOP THAT", she yelled, grabbing his leg, swinging him around like nothing, then throwing him into the sky... Bye bye sadistic prince.

Kagura watched as he flew away, without any words. After a while, it seemed that he came back to earth. "Oh. He's coming back", she said in a monotone way, stepping aside, so he would have space to land.

"OAAAAAAAAH-"

Was all that was hearable, then a loud "Dosch!" sound and he landed. Somehow, he seemed to be a bit alive.

"Oh my god what did you do?!", the girl suddenly yelled, running for her crush, falling onto her knees. "He will be dead! I need to do something!", she said that pulling out a little bottle with a pinkish liquid in it. She wanted him to drink it, so she just simply shoved it down his throat.

"I hope it works- BLURG", she suddenly screamed as she got punched by Sougo, who still had his eyes closed.

"You little China brat, you almost killed me you kno-", he said, opening his eyes, freezing to ice.

"... Oh my gosh you're so beautiful", he suddenly said, OMG DID HE JUST-

"What the fuck are you saying huh?! You wanna die?!", Kagura yelled and wanted to punch him back to coma, when Okita suddenly grabbed her hand, kissing the back of her hand.

"Oh fuck... it went wrong!", a known voice said, it was the shy girl!

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!", now Gintoki yelled at her, grabbing her collar and shakeing her.

"I-I had that love poison I gave to him... I-It makes the person who drank it falling in love with the first person he sees... but I guess he thought I was the China Girl... He was supposed to love me!"

"He is supposed to love his own grave because I will create one for him!", Kagura yelled and slapped his face.

"Oh, come on Kagura-chan~ Please, be my little princess, since they call me sadistic prince, I need a princess by my side~", he said, smiling a very charmant smile, which caused Kagura to blush a very little bit.

"No! As if any girl would love your stupid sadist ass!"

(Well I do-)

"Come on girl, tell us how he turns back to normal, I can't fight him like this."

They all looked at Gintokis hands, but the girl suddenly was dissapeared.

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Yush, first chapter 'ma dudes~ It already startes with some OkiKagu♡ Will the "curse" of Okita get cured in the next chapter? Or is it even a curse? Maybe Okita uses this excuse to play his sadistic games with Kagura? WHO KNOWS~