Regrets Of The Past

My Tainted Love

She was always so bright.
Always had the brightest smile and laughter,so bright that
it caught every single eye in a crowd
She was beautifully damned
I was a foolish mother

I was a foolish mother
I remember slapping her and pulling her hair,the day she laughed and smiled on her sister's joke
She cried and cried and didn't stop and I didn't help at all

"I was a foolish mother"

I screamed at her Everytime she laughed
I screamed at her for doing even the right thing.
I see her wake up,as tried as always,asking for a party and tea as her sister make fun of the combination .
I see her eat with eyes filled with nothingness......!
I see her look at me and smile with eyes filled with hope and joy.

I see her feet curled as she eats,because she insecure about them.
I see her pull her shirts up because she's afraid ill scold for her cleavage showing.

She holds the tray and goes to the kitchen to put the plates in the sink,just like I always asked.

But,
She smiles and laugh again,as if everything is beautiful in this world and there is still hope.

Yes,i was a foolish mother

I remember asking her to wake me up for fajar prayer as so she did and I always back to
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep.....

I wake up breathing heavily at 4:27
to pray , the time ,the imam calls the prayer and the time my daughter

"Who always an smiled and laughed and had eyes filled with hope and joy.... committed suicide"

(You shouldn't be deceived by a facade, sometimes it's stronger then the truth, but you can always find out, by seeking, you don't know how the other person is feeling, the person can be a family, a friend, anyone. A person can be strong to an extent but when they get tired, they simply decide to just die, it's not because they are not strong, it's because they are tired of being strong.)