He stared at the reflection that stared back at him. There he was, in raw form he couldn't bring himself to like what was staring back at him.
"Nobody wants you," said the voices. "You're ugly and fat!"
"Why are you here? Just end it!"
"You have a chance? HA! She thinks you're ugly!"
"You're weak!"
"Do it!"
"Fucking do it! Nobody will care!"
"End it already!"
"You're better off dead! The world will be so much better!"
He choked back the tears once again; the voices sound so convincing yet he believes they're right thanks to his life. Turner dealt with mental health issues a great majority of his life: depressions, anxiety, body image issues, suicidal thoughts. Despite that, he hides it well in the unhealthiest of ways. His thoughts often told him that nobody wants to listen to him so why bother? The few times he did, people used it against him.
Turner went back to his morning routine of cleaning his face and left his place to be among the world once again. Today was no different than any other as he headed to work. The sound of music through his stereo drowned out the thoughts that often occurred. "Ugh, why can't I wear headphones at work?" he asked himself. Turner's job was actually a pretty good job despite the few people that teased him often.
"Boy, you know good and well you don't need to be eating that," a voice said to Turner while on his lunch break. "Eat some salads so your big ass don't pass out."
"I'll keep that in mind," Turner said as he rolled his eyes. The voice came from Deuce, another worker from a different department. Turner knew Deuce since high school but only recently has Deuce started teasing him. Deuce, although smaller than Turner, hardly ever worked out but still maintained an athletic physique.
"Keep that in mind?" Deuce asked in a jokingly matter. "You gonna keep being fat too while you at it! This why you don't get no girls, man. How you workout everyday but still stay the same size?"
"I don't know, man. Maybe it's because I just want to be stronger"
"Your ass ain't that either, haha!"
"Well, duh! Gotta start somewhere!"
"You need to finish though!"
"Man, just let me eat!" exclaimed Turner.
"Haha man I'm just fucking with you," said Deuce. "Lighten up."
Turner has been trying to pursue his dream of being in the Olympics as a professional weightlifter and luckily his job has a gym that caters to that. He's been working out for the past 2 months and hard, but he only makes a little progress each time. It gets frustrating for him to not see any results. However, it's the one place he can feel some type of happiness as he let's go all of the mental pain and trades it for physical.
As Turner got off from work, he got in the car and put the key ignition to turn it on. He sat there and heard the voices again. "See? You're worthless! Fat, ugly, and worthless! Why do you even try?" Turner felt something wet come down his face. At 22 years old, he cannot remember the last time he cried yet there he was with pants drenched in tears. He was ready to end it all.
"Will that be all?" said a voice to Turner.
"What's that?" Turner said snapping back to reality.
"Need anything else?" said the lady at the counter of his favorite restaurant.
"OH! No, that'll be it."
"Ok, that'll be $13.47. Looking great, by the way!"
"Guess I have to break a twen—what's that?"
"Oh I said you're looking great!"
"Oh, why thank you!" said Turner with a smile.
Turner grabbed his food and sat at his usual spot. He could eat at home but he felt less cramped in when he's eating out. As he ate he saw the lady walk up to him with a cup.
"You forgot your drink," she said.
"Oh, um... I didn't order a drink this time," he said. "I'm trying to watch my figure, haha!"
"Oh, this one is on me," she said with a smile.
"Oh thank you, but I really shouldn't because I'm trying to lose weight."
"I don't know why. You look perfectly fine to me."
"Pssh, I'm really big though. I'd be lucky to even get a compliment."
"Well, consider this your first one: you're actually very beautiful," said the lady. "In fact, you actually lost some weight from what I've been seeing."
"I have?" Turner asked with a shocked voice.
"Absolutely! I'm observant like that," she joked.
"Well, I have started working out recently and I've been going kind of hard," he replied. "I didn't see any progress though."
"Sometimes," she started, "it's hard for us to see the changes we go through because we see ourselves every day. I see you every few times because of my shift and I notice the change. I hope you continue your journey though because I can tell me noticing made you happier."
"Wait, how did you know?" he asked.
"Because you've been smiling this whole time I said it."
She was right about that. Turner quickly realized that his cheekbones were a bit sore from smiling the entire time they were talking. "OH! I'm so sorry about that," he exclaimed with an embarrassed look.
"Don't be, you have a cute smile also!" she replied. "In fact, if it means seeing that smile then I promise to continue to cheer you on every time you come here when I'm here!"
"Oh you don't have to!" he said. "It's nothing, really!"
"It's actually a lot and you could use the kindness since you're literally my kindest and sweetest regulars! In fact, I'm still on my break. Tell me what all that you do when you workout?"
Turner began to tell her his routine to which she sat and listened to. As he did, he came to the realization that someone actually cared; someone actually gave him a reason to continue to get up, go to work, workout, and come eat.
