LINDA! (A Daz Black Fanfiction)

A Normal Day For Daz

Daz was borrred. His Dazzlers kept doing weird shit, like making fanfictions that were badly written, so all he could do was try and act like that wasn't happening. So after a few attempts of squats and attacking his daughter with a can of air, Daz decided that he might as well wash his clothes. Why shouldn't he?

Daz walked in the kitchen, announcing himself to no-one with a loud, "HAH!" sound. (Or rather that's what I like to believe). Satisfied that his...sound was loud enough, he grab a pair of undergarments, sniffed them disgusted, then gave up on trying to wash his clothes. Instead, he attempted another technique to have his clothes cleaned which didn't require effort...

"LINDA!" Daz screeched at the top of his lungs before laughing at himself pathetically. What am I doing? Daz thought to himself, face palming to himself. I'm not in front of my fans anymore. Linda's not...

All of a sudden, something caught the corner of Daz's eye. A woman...She wore a small bun and looked around 5"2 from where he was standing. Her movements were stiff, and her posture was twisted and unnatural. Maybe if she spent some time in the sun, she'd look...normal, but she seemed as if she had been trapped in Daz's closet for years.

Daz gasped a little, wondering who it could be. Was is some crazy fan? No...most of his fans were teenagers. Odd teenagers, but this wasn't one of them. From what Daz could see, this woman looked too old. Perhaps he was wrong, maybe it was an adult fan who spent all her days watching Daz, but it seemed unlikely. Did he even have enough fans to earn a deranged Dazzler?

Before he knew it, the woman had passed him, and was loading his clothes into the washing machine with no expression on her face. She operated like a robot. Daz attempted to talk to her...

"Um...excuse me? Are you okay?" Feeling a strong urge to throw her out, Daz told himself to take a few breaths to calm himself. He felt bad for the woman, because she looked ill in every way imaginable. However, it could just be an act, a way to make him feel guilty so she could get close to him. Daz shook the thought from his head. That's stupid...

It took several minutes for the woman to reply to Daz. She had just loaded the washing machine when she finally answered.

"My name is not Linda..." As she whispered, this woman, Not Linda, finally showed a hint of emotion for the first time, annoyance...

I guess her name's not Linda then...Daz smirked to himself when suddenly, he realised the woman was glaring at him.

"Why are you smiling? All I said was that my name is not Linda..." The woman tilted her head, as though she was expressing confusion, despite the fact that her face had returned to its neutral expression. (Don't judge my writing skills!)

"I never said your name was Linda..." Confused, Daz scratched his head then looked around anxiously. He still didn't know who this woman was.

"Yes you did...you shouted, 'LINDA!' as though you were assuming that's your assisstant's name, and since I'm your only assistant..." The woman trailed off, then walked off without warning. Daz's eyes widened. He followed her...

She walked like a robot once again down the corridor, and attempted to go into Daz's room before he ran in front of her.

"Who are you?" He demanded, nervously. In reply, the woman blinked rapidly.

"I don't know...but my name is not Linda...I don't like that name. It's...weird." Daz didn't know how to react.
"I know a simple-minded hu-"
"S-s-simple-minded? I HAVE MERCH!"
"...Yeah um...I've seen it..." She pulls down her shirt which is the Linda shirt that every Dazzler adores. However, the woman had got a red Sharpie and wrote NOT in giant capital letters in front of the Linda to show that she truly despised the name. Daz couldn't see why. What was wrong with the name, Linda?

"Look, Daz...How about I describe everything in a language you will understand...It all started when you first spoke the sacred words that no man had ever dare said with such passion ever before...'Time for a Tea Party..."

(I saw this fan art online and I HAD to use it. The creator's name is on the picture, so I'm not taking credit. If I could draw that then my whole Wattpad would just be me showing off my art skills XD)

"You're f*cking KIDDING ME!" Daz yelled, unable to control the volume of his voice. Linda blinked dumbly at Daz and shook her head.

"Why would I joke about it? Tea is a Linqueenie's favourite beverage. Coffee is also a favourite."

"What?" Daz cringed. This would definitely be the strangest encounter he would ever have with someone. A Linqueenie? Seriously? It sounds like something one of my Dazzlers would make up...

Linda shrugged once more, unsure what to say. She really didn't think it was that confusing. They both sat there in silence for ten minutes until Sarah walked past. At first, she hadn't seen the woman at Daz's door. It wasn't until she bumped into the weirdo, had she realised Daz had a visitor.

"Sorry." She said, barely audible, scrabbling to her feet. Something about this woman was unsettling...but what? Not Linda, turned to Sarah, eyebrows raised.

"For what? It was partially my fault. I should have noticed you wrapped up in your electronics, or the crumb trail you made beside me, it shouldn't have been one I miss." Sarah could only nod as a response, then turned to his father, but he looked far more perplexed than a toddler trying to work out the circumference of an Oreo.

In that moment, Sarah felt more than simply startled. Daz didn't know this woman! Who was she? What was she doing here? Questions she wanted to ask so badly, but so afraid of the answers. Luckily, she didn't need to ask anything, Not Linda was prepared to give her all the answers.

"The look on your face suggests you don't realise I'm a woman who has done your deeds for as long as you can remember...We should probably sit down so I can explain it all clearly..."

(A/N: I probably won't update this fanfiction any further because it's not serious. I hope one day Daz might read this, but that's all just a far away fantasy. I just thought Daz deserved some more love.)