Dammit Gabriel! Ineffable Bureaucracy

Dammit Gabriel!

It was exactly two minutes until seven in the evening, and in those two minutes, aziraphale had settled down in a comfy seat in his bookshop. He had a cup of tea in one hand and a first edition novel of Oscar Wilde's The Picture Of Dorian Gray in the other hand. Nothing could ruin this night.

After the two minutes, however, he heard a loud thud come from the front of the bookshop, and loud cursing coming from the loud thud.

"For heavens sake why the heck has he got so many books--oh hey aziraphale!! I need your help"

Ah, yes, the person aziraphale definitely most wanted to see on his relaxation day: the archangel fucking Gabriel.

"Gabriel, sir, if I may, WHY ARE YOU HERE??" Aziraphale's voice was raspy and panicky as he wondered, was this another punishment? Was crowley okay??

Gabriel's face turned bright red and he stared at the ground,
"IthinkImightbepregnant"

"Im sorry what??"
"I think I might be pregnant!!"

Now aziraphale was really panicking. What did his former boss mean?? His mind was blank as he pulled a face that can only be described as if you saw the angel that stuck fear into you for 6000 years, appear in front of you and tell you that he was pregnant.

Aziraphale let out a small chuckle, which then turned into full on laughter.
"And how did that happen?"

"Uh, well.. You see.. I may have kissed beezlebub!"

And then his laughing stopped.

"Wait, what??"

"Do I have to keep repeating myself?? I kissed beezlebub, now I'm pregnant!"

"Gabriel--that's not how it works."
"Wh??"
"YOU CAN'T KISS SOMEBODY TO BECOME PREGNANT! THAT ISN'T HOW IT WORKS!"
"But crowley said--"
"Look, boss, why in heavens name would you listen to crowley"

Once again there was silence as aziraphale tried his best not to laugh again, "What did beezlebub say?"

"Well, they panicked and began to cry, I might want to go apologise. Forget I was ever here."

And with that, a flash of light appeared, took Gabriel, and then disappeared.

Aziraphale sat back down in his chair trying to process whatever just happened, and then went back to reading. It had now been two minutes after he sat down again, that he dropped his book and his face went red.

"WAIT, BEEZLEBUB AND GABRIEL???"

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Hhhhh enjoy this weird thing