Would your heart stop ( Jay x Matthew Big Mouth Jatthew Fanfiction )

The kiss

I was day dreaming about my newest magic trick I was going to start working on when I got home, when Nick handed me the bottle. It was my turn of smooch or share, of course it was pointless to choose share I tell everyone everything anyway. "Here's how it's done, smooch" I shouted as I spun the bottle. Come on please land on Devin....shit. "And there it is" Matthew sarcastically remarked. Everyone starting laughing and telling me to do it. "But Matthew isn't even playing!" I yelled. "No I'll play, but there's no way Jay wants to seem gay by kissing a boy" Matthew said mocking me. Ugh of course HE wants to kiss me. "No! If I didn't want to kiss you it would be because your hurt my feelings..." I trailed off thinking about what had happened earlier. "Hmmm, that's even gayer" He said giving me that judgy look he gives everyone. He's such a bitch. "Fuck fine! I'll do it and when I win this game you guys are going to smooch and share my asshole" I started to mutter as I headed over to Matthew. Why Matthew of all people, he probably has a crush on me that little gay prick. As soon as I was in front of him I aggressively grabbed his face and kissed him. I didn't know what to do. I felt happier than I ever had. People always say you feel sparks when you kiss but I never had till now. "Well then" Matthew said as he smiled. He never smiled, well not genuinely at least. I tried not to seem flustered. I was so confused. "In your face Matthew!" I screeched before I started to chant my own name for a solid minute even though no one joined in.
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Later on everyone was going wild in the gym. Nick was naked, Andrew giving people a tour, Missy humping a stuffed worm and Jessie just sat in the middle of it all. I was sat under the bleachers as Matthew took a seat beside me. He let out a small sigh as I turned to face him. "You know back in the teachers lounge" he paused "that was actually my first kiss..." he cringed in embarrassment. I couldn't believe it was his first kiss, he must of been really good to make a straight guy like it. "It was my first guy kiss" I told him try to make him feel understood. "What did you think..." he waited for my reaction. What did I think, I thought it was amazing but I couldn't say that. "Hey man, a mouths a mouth" I shrugged. "Stop quoting your dad's law commercials" he smirked as he leaned closer to me. I felt really hot and my heart was thumping. "Why don't you make me" I teasingly whispered. And with that Matthew grabbed my face pulling my lips to his. At first I was shocked I didn't actually think he'd end up kissing me. In that moment the whole room stopped and it was just us. Shit. What am I doing... I'm straight. I pushed him off of me and wiped my mouth as he looked at me with confusion. "Get off of me fag!" I screamed just as the disabled kid set the gym on fire. Everyone ran outside but Matthew ran to the toilets crying.
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It was the next day, I approached Matthew at his locker. "Hey Matthew, epic game of smooch or share" I said nervously. He looked at me as if I was wasting his time. "Especially when we continued the game later on when we were in private but it was still apart of the game and not real life" I stuttered as I awkwardly let out a laugh. "Ok I see your dealing with us making out really well" he said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. He always mocks me, he mocks everyone but he does it to me so much worse and often. "Is that what we did, I barley remember or think about it at all, all the time" I scratched the back of my neck. Matthew sighed "Relax it was a one time thing plus I'd never be attracted to filth like you" I mean I had that coming after what I said to him last night. I don't know why but that sent a pain throughout my body. My face heated up as I got angry "Yea right you were all over me that night. Inviting me to sleep in a room with you just to try and hook up with me and you made out with me which I pulled away from cos I didn't want it. Your just a little fag." I said as I edged closer to him. You could tell he was intimidated as he would shrink every time I stepped toward him. The worse part was he genuinely looked hurt, he never cared about anything people said to him normally. He was hiding the tears in his eyes so that I could barely notice them. "Well yea..." he thought hard about what to say next but nothing "forget it" he muttered as he put down his head and slowly walked away. Fuck. Why the hell would I do that, he got so upset. I'm such a dickhead. I could never control my anger. My mums an addict who doesn't care about me, my brothers beat me up daily for no reason, my dad's always out cheating on my mum, no one would notice or care if I disappeared forever. That shit will drive you to that level of anger. It still wasn't fair to take it out on Matthew. I really did mess up but what did I care he's just some sassy queer. Rejected and alone just like me maybe that's why I liked him. My friends didn't care for me either they would roll their eyes every time I came near. That's why I started magic and telling everyone everything because I thought I had to be really interesting for people to want to talk to me. Matthew had no real friends either, we could of been friends. Not anymore I messed that up. What am I thinking I don't want a gay as my friend he would be all over me and I'm straight I don't need that.
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Omg, ok that was my first chapter to this story and it was so fun writing it. I'm sorry if the language used it offensive but I want Jay to come of as homophobic for now. Quick disclaimer: I'm not homophobic in the slightest as I'm apart of the LGBTQ+ community. If you enjoyed please give me feedback in the comments, more of the story will come soon :)