Crestfallen

Do you know me?
Do you know me?!
Do! You! Know! Me!?

*laugh*

Of course you know me
I'm cheerful
I'm joyful
I'm always smiling
I'm optimistic
Or so that's what they thought

I always smile but there's a sorrow behind it
Smilling like I have no problems
Smilling like I'm not physically drained, emotionally broken and mentally depressed

Every drop of my tears have a story
So hear my useless story

When I was a kid I didn't know such bad words
But my mom taught me
Do you know how?

*laugh*

She says that i'm useless!
She says that I'm foolish!
She says that I'm idiot!

And the worst she says that " I wish I didn't have a daughter like you! If I know in the first place I will take your breath away"

That hurts right? *cries*
Every time I hear it my heart always shattered into pieces even if I frequently hear it

Well I have the reasons

I did my best but my best is not enough
I review before my exams until midnight but failed anyways

My hope starting to fade
I'm so tired
I want to sleep for eternity
But here I am standing in front of you
Being brave and facing all the challenges
Not giving up because I know God has better plans for me

I want to thank all of you especially God
You're the reason why I'm still breathing
Thank you for being my light in my darkest day
I love all of you