A Side Effect (A HTTYD Short Story)

A Side Effect

A Side Affect
Hiccup still cries at night. Sometimes I hear him sobbing, he pretends that he doesn't 'cos it makes it easier for him to get through the day, but during night he falls asleep crying. He says he's fine, but I know he isn't. When he wakes up he's that Hiccup I know, though less happy, but still full with energy and ideas. And sometimes he even tries to postpone his chief duties and then Berk's Vikings comes to either me or Valka instead, asking where Hiccup is, when he promised to help with stuff like broken roofs, or the dragons' dung filling up in a barn, or plainly just trying to control Ruff and Tuff and their mischiefs. So when Hiccup is away I sorta work as the chief in command, mostly I just help them, but of course sometimes I can't hold in all that roughness and I sorta ... burst out like that Viking I really am. It's not on purpose; I am really- trying to hold my temper down. I always find Hiccup out at Ravens Point. With Toothless lying next to him like a huge rock with wings and Hiccup ... well, Hiccup always sits hoplessly on his knees looking out at the setting sun. Once I found him in the forrest, he'd been having a really tough week with Ruff and Tuff sabotaging the newly built water construction that had been destroyed during the Bewilderbeast attack, and the water had overflown four houses, a farm and nearly drowned the newborn Gronkles in the stables. I found Hiccup in a tantrum after that happened, with lunging into the void of Berk, scaring most of wild and dragons that lived in those parts. Boars fled in terror and various Zipplebacks and their babes flew into the air like sparrows and larks and fled the scenery. Even Stormfly wouldn't land near Hiccup, with good reason. After most animal had fled in fear, Hiccup drew out his tiny knife and threw it through the air till it hit a tree, which the knife sunk into. Even I started to fear Hiccup. But could you blame him? He kicked to every twig, and tree and threw multiple rocks away from him that he could find, to get the rage out. Toothless had flown away as well. When I close my eyes I can see Toothless' grand black green eyes looking at with such concern and worries, and that's not the worst of it. The worst of all is that I see more than that, I see guilt in that dragon's eyes, guilt for being the reason to all this rage and outburst from his best friend. I grab the Night Fury with both hands and pad him slowly, saying "it's not your fault Toothless" I know he's a dragon and that he doesn't understand me, but sometimes it is if he understand our intention, it then seems to be my calm voice makes him brighten up, and then feeling guilty again of Hiccup's reaction. I let Toothless go to Stormfly, and call on Hiccup. He'd drawn his dragon blade and lit it with the dragon saliva. He yelled, and I'm pretty sure that all of Berk could hear him, and what hurt me was how much he sounded like his father Stoick whenever he let out a terrifying cry as he often did in battles. Again I called his name, but I wasn't until the saliva had burned out and the chief had fallen to his knees in hard crying. It killed me that he was in so much pain, and there was nothing I could do to help him. Suddenly there was this piercing silence that was interrupted by sniffs and tiny coughs. From the safe distance I felt my stomach turn when Hiccup's body, along with the sniff sounds, moved distraughtly up and down. His name crawled away from my lips, but he didn't react on it and carried on crying. "Hiccup..." I stuttered when I felt his sobbing movements through my hand on his back. Hiccup didn't say anything. He turned his head a bit, but turned his face away again. I asked if there was something that I could do to help him, he didn't reply. And kept on crying. I moved my hand from his back towards his head, it automatically stopped at his neck and I squatted down in front of him. Getting the feeling we would sit like this for some time, I kneed all the way down and embraced my little babe. Tear streams ran down his face and wetted the fabric on my chest. As a try for comfort I placed my head lightly on his. His hair smelled wet, yet burned and a little bit of forest. Just like he always did.
"I couldn't save him ... Astrid-..! I couldn't save him!" That was the first time he spoke, that didn't involve him yelling at the trees. His voice was all mushy and hoarse from the yelling. "And now he's gone-!" His words quivered. It was my turn not to say anything, but after a moment had passed I decided to speak.
"Hiccup," it was as if our words quivered together, "it wasn't your fault. You mustn't blame yourself." I had trouble finding the words, I knew what I would say, just not how I should do it. I ended up trying to make eye contact with Hiccup, but he was reluctant towards the idea. The stubbornness in me forced him to make eye contact "You can't blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault." He closed his eyes again and pressed out every tear he had before placing his head on my chest again, silently crying.