Probably Good Day

Chapter 1

Clink. I heard the familiar jangle of keys and metallic chime of the prison guard unlocking my cell for the last time. Up until now, every meal, every yard break... the reliability of the noise kept me sane. After all, I had been trapped in the hell that is the California Institution for Men for thirty-five years. A single murder, a single fingerprint is all it takes... not that I had only slaughtered one, of course, but I cover my tracks. They could only prove the one. Two if you count the fetus, actually, but what does that matter now? I'm free. Finally free! Well, sort of.

My name is Ace Boyle Briggs-Adler, but my prisonmates call me Abba, like the band, for obvious reasons. I'm fifty-five years old and I'm a serial killer. They caught me once and only once and that is the LAST time that's happening.

How can I be so sure, you may be wondering. Well, presumably innocent reader, the American government has found a plan to rid themselves of their bloodiest burden. Found a plan? To get rid of murderers, you say? Yes, they have discovered an island, an island the perfect size to house the entire murder-committing, child-molesting, and/or drug-dealing percent of the U.S. population. Every one of us is to be sent to a lawless desert populated by freaky new marsupials to have at it for ten whole years. We're our own country now, baby.

So, back to your first question. How am I so sure I'll never be caught again? Isn't it obvious? Either I get all the shooting and stabbing out of my system by the end of the ten years, or I'm not coming back alive.