𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝖡𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗇

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑇𝑤𝑜

December 10, 2024

I told you this once before, and I'll tell you again; I hate the cold.
The freezing nights, the busted heating, the icy cold of the blanket sheets I wrapped myself up in. I hated every bit of it. Which is exactly the reason I'm leaving this cold-ridden town.
It was time for a fresh start. For goodness sake, I'm 24, and I've been living a lie most of my life.

'Don't you love the winter here?' 'Yes.'
'Isn't the snow so calming?' 'Yes.'
'How can people even choose summer over winter?' 'I really wonder how.'

It was always like this. This made me hate winter even more. How can you even brag about winter, knowing that for years you've walked to school with frostbite? You can't even go out for a coffee for fear of it instantly freezing.
Ugh.
I always wondered when this nightmare would end.
And today's the day. The day I've waited for most of my life.
"Are your bags packed, Aaira?"
I roll my eyes, throwing my head back into my pillow. As much as I loved my uncle, he stresses me out (most of the time).
It's always, 'where's this', 'where's that', 'why isn't this washed'.
When will I get a 'good morning' 'did you sleep well'.
Absolute. Torture.

Seo jun dashes into my room, taking a quick glance at the boxes around me. "Well, good job," he said with a slight smile.
"Thanks," I uttered back.
"We're leaving in 10. Do you need a hand with your things?"
I look around at the tens of boxes stacked in my room, then furrow my brows at him. "No, I think I'll be fine." How on earth would he expect me to get all of these out of the apartment in 10 minutes?!
He chuckled, walking over to sit on the edge of my bed.
Even my bed sheets and blankets had been packed. I officially had nothing left waiting for me in this room. Apart from the few pillows I would cushion myself in the car.
I guess there's no turning back now.
"Scared?" he asked, staring down at where I lay.
I didn't answer him.
Really, I didn't want him to know I was terrified, but I think he already knew that.
"It won't be as bad as you think."
"Better than being here," I sigh. I notice that my uncle scowls at my comment, and I press my lips together quickly. "No offence."
"At least you'll get some sun. You're looking a little pale." He pokes at my skin and I kick him in the shoulder, hearing him chuckle under his breath.

Okay, I might not not miss everything.
Seo jun is the only family I've had in god knows how long. He's the only protector I've ever had, and I feel as though that will always be the case. I don't have anyone else to hold me up when I'm falling down.

The only time I ever had trust in someone else was that night.
December 2nd.
He was so eerie, I hated it. But he was mesmerising. For at least two days I couldn't get this man out of my head. It was like a clog just turned in my head.
Weird metaphor, but you get the jist.
From that day, I vowed to never have that feeling again. Ever.
Who knows where that night could have led me if I just held on to that feeling.
I was just glad to know I would never come anywhere near this rural town again. I'd never have to see that pretty face again.

~

December 2, 2024

His hand was warm to the touch, but his grip was tight.
I wanted to push away and let go, and just let myself slowly fall.
But, in that moment, the moonlight shone down perfectly across his face. His eyes were sad. I could see the bones in his cheeks tensing, he was trying so hard to hold on.
Then I thought, what if I had let go? Just by looking at his face, I know it would break his heart. He's trying to save someone who just doesn't want to be saved.
My head and my heart were telling me two different things, and I didn't know which way to sway. So I just closed my eyes.
I let my body do the talking.

And by the time I had opened my eyes, my feet were climbing back up onto the railing. With his hands gripping my back, he threw me back over effortlessly. I fell face down, but there was so much adrenaline running through my body I couldn't feel the graze on my head. It was only small, but once that adrenaline had disappeared, it would sting like a bitch.

I managed to catch my breath quickly, and threw my hair out of my face to see him sat with his back against the railing, slightly breathless.
His curls had fallen over his eyes, and he brushed them aside with his sweaty palms.
"Why did you do that?" I breathe heavily, holding back my cough.
He threw his head back, and just stared up at the stars. He didn't say a word.
He took a moment, and another, and another, and another.
Then he stood up, adjusted his trousers and jumper, and walked away.
"Hey! Answer me!" I struggled to my feet, holding onto the railing out of fear my legs would give way.

He stopped and turned on his feet slowly. This felt like one of those moments you see in movies where the guy rushes over to you and hugs you (or even kisses you, for that matter), but that's not at all what happened. I was just imagining a perfect moment with a stranger, as always.

"Go home. It's late." And he turned back around and walked. He was walking slowly enough that I could easily catch up to him, but it was pointless. It was more of the fact I didn't care. Not one bit. Not in the slightest.
When he disappeared into the shadows of the dark, I realised I did.
I cared. I needed to know why.
And, now, I'd never know.

-

It took a little longer than we thought to carry the boxes down. Honestly, how did he expect me to do that by myself in 10 minutes? Seo jun should just be impressed we both did it in 10 minutes, especially with the way his back is lately.

I took one last look at the apartment I'd be living in for the past 19 years. The years were long, but now it was time for me to find my own feet.
No more relying on my uncle, no more crying about my mother, no more anger towards my father for leaving.
I had to grow up.

"Aaira, let's go."
My uncle was already buckled into the driver's seat. I just wanted a few minutes to stare at this place, and pray that nothing ever brings me back. But I didn't exactly have time.
I threw my bag into the back seat of the car, and got myself comfortable in the front next to Seo Jun.
"Ready for the next three and a half hours?"
I grunted and leant back in my seat, "I suppose so."