alexander the funny warrior

I remember when you were still a kid,I used to scold you because of you were so stubborn.we even didnt know that despite of youre energy as a kid,you had asthma.but still you manage how to KICK IT with your condition.and then as time flies by.
you grew up as a handsome cute naughty guy.
everybody loves u because of your positivity ,ideas,trips,and lot more.in short you are always comin with a lot of positivities. your energy is amazing and i honestly admire you for bein so brave. you really know how to cheer up someone who's feelin low. you play a very big role being the super man of all. you are good at cheering people who needs your advice. i love it in you.so positive. idealistic. funny. energetic. a dancer. singer. oopps!  sorry. lol:) not even. nah. just kiddin aside.you sing well.i never had the chance tellin you because i know ull be boastin up again hahahaha... so i kept quiet. through out the years of bein together,we always spend it together. gala. chill out nights. swimming. karaoke.what else? ahhh! pranking! you are good at it. so good. you got us all. hate you especially when you scared the heck of me!  i almost pee in my pants. crazy boy! ggrrr😊 we had good memories being as buddies. i dont consider you as my nephew. i consider you as my own son. and our connection being buddies are remarkable. diba :)we were happy. so much happy.

all along during our happy moments, no one ever notice that something crazy, ubsurd, maybe a curse or something more will come to our family. untill one day. you had always been sickly since you were younger. so we are used to it just givin you first aids. check ups and T. L. C... (tender love and care) but you came up to our home with a high fever. and a lump in your throat. i thought it was just a regular lump i had seen in you. when i saw you with those, never a single moment i thought that it will be a start of a total nightmare!

few days you  were still with your high fever and continous throwing up, so me and lola needs to bring you to a doctor. to check whats really goin on. and yes. finally,results came that your hemoglobin is goin down. meaning maybe something more is serious with you. so i had to take you to a hospital. we reached at the first stop. this hospital gaved me shivers. chills. after they saw you and check up on you, they called me and lola to tell us things we never ever wanted to hear in our lives. and yes.. it was a bad news. first diagnostic. it was a lymphoma. and that darn hospital even kicked us out because they dont have specialist to handle your condition.i was there waiting for things to get cleared. i got lost for a moment. tears  wants to fall from my eyes. but in this situation i cant show you that i am a coward. just like you, so brave kid. i have to act as brave as you are. i had seen the questions in your eyes. that you wanted to ask me what is goin on.? and what are you having?  i  told you no idea yet untill we reach the second hospital.

we reached at the second hospital. and the great thing there was they prioritized you. all the attention was given to you. we spent too much hours on the "waiting room" to get you admitted. hours and hours, clock tiks.more patience.i needed to be brave. more even braver this time. finally. the resident doctor talked to. me. that you might have a leukemia.yes.you read it right.

· Leukemia is cancer of the body's blood-forming tissues, including the bone marrow and the lymphatic system. Many types of leukemia exist. Some forms of leukemia are more common in children. Other forms of leukemia occur mostly in adults. Leukemia usually involves the white blood cells

at that moment i was on the phone with your kuyA keith, and ate kathrine. i cant even open my mouth. i got strucked by a lighting. my knees were shaking, got chills. i couldnt believe what i heard myself. but i have to be strong. tough! i just have to.  keith and kath cant even believe what i told them. we are all in shock. of course,it is a natural reaction of being a relative of a sick individual.
our world was frozen for once. needed a break for at least few minutes. shake it off untill we all let it sinked in to all of us. and so at the end of the night, we settled our first night at the hospital.

sleepless night. because we had to keep our eye on you. with our cold face towels to handle your high fever. keeps on and off. nurses keeps coming in and out for rounds. medicines. and much more. while you were asleep and fever subsided, tita netty and i went out to talk about what is next for you. us.. all of us.. how will we deliver this news.its so hard. i felt so heavy. in my mind why is it to be me handling such these. but i am your "tito jack" and i know you depend on me. i am doing this just for you. because i love you. and youre my son. not my nephew. all night long was restless. wew!  what a day!

few days more you needed to stay longer  at the hospital. you keep asking why do you need to stay longer. what sicknes are you having. and you really wanna know. i myself dont know what to tell you. yes. i lied to you. because we are also clueless. maybe things are mistaken. i prayed. so much. that it will be a mistaken diagnostic. untill one time. your pedia doctor wants to talk to all of us.. then surprisingly.boom!  there.... she told us that you have an acute myloid leukemia. stage 3.type of leukemia you have is one of the most stubborn. fatal. and painful type and you are going in 5 months time! she isnt even god to say whoever time is up in this world. only god knows. we were all shocked. doomed!  the world fell apart. like apocalyps happened. we got crazy. clueless. name it.it was heartbreaking. and the most sick part of it is how to tell you alex. how?when,where should we start? fuck it! 
(sorry for my words) but it was so heartbreaking.