It was every pig's fav holiday, Thanksgiving. Andrew Cunanan was in his room, applying eyeliner. He picked up his Android and dialed Ronnie, "Hey, Ron." Ronnie smiled too much with his eyes, "Oh! Happy Thanksgiving, And-." Andrew interrupted him, "So, what time should I tell everyone to come over?" Ronnie hard swallowed, "I'm sorry, but what are you talking about, Andy?" Andrew rolled his eyes, "You're hosting Friendsgiving this year. You know, the thing Jeff started last year?" Ronnie replied, "Oh, uh... I didn't know about it. I guess I can let my mom know some friends will be over. I'll see you soon, Andy!" Andrew immediately hung up and smiled rottenly to himself, "I can't wait to show up with my new bf. David will be SO jealous, he'll forget who Jeff even is." A couple hours later, the beasts piled into Ronnie's house. Max Greenfield angrily sighed, "Who the fuck are they?" Ronnie's face flushed, "Gabe, plz don't curse in front of my friends." Max Greenfield nodded, "Friends... I'm sure. Whatever, I'm going to the Freakshow for Thanksgiving. I'd literally rather eat whatever dirt Ethel is serving than spend time with you and people from your school." Valentino walked in from the kitchen, "Such a shame, Gabriel. I just got done with my delicious Thanksgiving halupki. It's turkey instead of ground beef." Max Greenfield gagged and ran out. Versace was nervously pacing back and forth. Ricky Martin went over to him, "What's wrong, shawty?" Versace didn't respond. Donatella scoffed, "Go ahead. Tell him Gianni. Tell him how you're nervous to admit that you became a vegan for clout." Ricky Martin asked, "Is that true?" Versace shrugged, "It really gained me Tik Tok followers." Ricky Martin had to go upstairs to cool down from the shocking revelation. Meanwhile, Andrew came twenty minutes late. He was with his new boyfriend, Bobby Richter, or Bobby Chonks Jr., if you will. Andrew sashayed right over to David and Jeff, "Hey, ladies! Just with my new man candy, Robert." Bobby awkwardly smiled, "I actually go by Bobby." Andrew hit him in the moob, "Shut up. I told you to go by Robert to sound more sophisticated." David and Jeff just gave judgmental looks and started whispering. Andrew raised an eyebrow, "Well, we'll catch up with you later. We have to go talk about how in love we are and plan our wedding." Bobby asked, "You're in love with me?" Andrew narrowed his eyes, "Obviously not. We just started dating yesterday. Now, go get me some green bean casserole." Ronnie went up to Andrew, "Hey. How did that go?" Andrew crossed his arms, "Weird. David didn't seem jealous at all. They just started laughing at me." Ronnie gulped, "If I'm being honest? Everyone thinks it's kinda weird that your boyfriend looks a lot like Jeff." Andrew's eyes widened, "What did you say?" Ronnie responded, "Same face, same hair, same style..." Andrew made his fist into the Arthur meme, "I'm dating my arch nemesis." Ronnie tucked his hair behind his ear, "Not that uncommon. Happened to my brother." Andrew clenched his teeth, "That's so stupid to say. I actually do hate Jeff. I don't even know Bobby." Bobby was behind them, listening, "Erm, here's your plate, honey." Andrew threw the plate on the ground, "Not now, love." Later that night, Ricky Martin brought Versace a big slice of sweet potato pie. Versace began eating it with his fingers, "You're not still mad?" Ricky Martin gave a half-smile, "Nah. It's okay that I'm dating a clout chaser. It's kinda like dating Ruth Bader Ginsburg." So, everyone spent the rest of Thanksgiving eating their lives away. Such not a waste! Even Lee Miglin couldn't get enough of the Jenny Lee thumbprints. Happy Thxgiving y'all.
