Let Me Go, Please (ManxMan)

Prologue

Nobody could ever get one over Goliath. Nobody could ever win a game against him. Whether it be a game of love. A game of quick wit. A game that involved multiple hearts. One that tested your intelligence or creative. He had it all. 

The man was incredibly smart and loves to spend his time stuck in the library. It's his utmost favorite go to place. Not that I'm complaining, but as his ex-close friend. I will always worry about his actual social skills. 

No, I'm not that type that'll force him into a situation he's not comfortable with. Around everyone he puts up this front of being quite charming and undeniably sweet. Alone he can be very harsh and make you want to cry your eyes out once on his bad side. On his good side he will do anything to make you feel very special. 

There's too many layers to Goliath. One that I thought I knew was true. No the real him. Turns out two months ago I never really did. Or rather he never wanted me to see it. What's the real him? After having more than ten decades of close friendship. I thought I knew him. Truly I did. Until that fateful night two months ago. 

Like a pure coward I sadly watched him from afar. I couldn't get the courage to confront him. Not of that. How can I come to terms with my own feelings? Feelings that borderline between friendship and something more. It troubles me. I think it's better if I stay where I'm at. By myself. 

Still that didn't stop me from watching him from time to time. Nor did it stop me from getting as close as I could to him before he noticed my presence. 

Gosh, why did he look quite ravishing in his baby blue button down dress shirt and black khakis? Back then I wondered why he would watch me with a frustrated expression. Now I have the answer to my question. I remained hidden behind the cherry brown made bookshelf. Did I peek my head around the corner to see him. 

Licorice black locks of hair fall into his face. They give off this sexy aura with how he has his clear square shaped glasses pushed up on his straight nose. Dark crystal emerald green eyes remained locked on a book he had open between his left palm. He kept his head bowed while he calmly read. His back rested on the wall behind him, with his left foot crossed over his right. The steady rise and fall of his chest had me wishing to be close to him. Wishing that I was still oblivious as I had been for many years. 

I'm not positive what's worse. Not knowing and living happily. Or knowing now and not being able to figure him out still. 

 At times such as these I wish to close the distance between us. One that defines more than our social status'. One that shows me his true colors. 

With each tick of the clock I see my window of opportunity disappearing. An opportunity that I'm not sure I want to even dip into. The type that will either make me whole, or completely destroy me entirely. 

One day he'll figure out that I am far from being worth his time. Oh, wait. He's known all along. 

Just the thought alone has me swallowing back the lump that formed in my throat. At times I wished I was somebody else. The one who didn't cause trouble and get dragged into bad decisions. Okay, no one's to blame but myself. I make poor life choices. 

"Sammie, he's always the burden to my existence". 

Quietly sighing I look away from Goliath to ignore the way my heart hurts. I tightly held the calculus book to my chest. Was me having the book here to see him a waste of time? Numerous amounts of times he mentioned that I could ask him to help me study, it's just that I am tired of being a burden. Of relying on someone that doesn't want me around. 

Forget that I'm horribly failing. Maybe I should ditch college altogether. 

At the realization that I had followed him around like a lost puppy back then made me want to punch a wall. How could I ever have been like that? No wonder his friends looked down on me. None liked me besides sweet Sammie.