perceptive | akira kurusu x reader oneshot

- perceptive -

The couple had shocked you that day when you were headed to the train station in the Red Light District, Shinjuku.

From the looks of it, Akira had defended Makoto from a hit that was about to come from this creepy looking host guy. After that, they ran away from the scene to Crossroads, a nearby bar just a couple of feet away.

For some strange reason, you had the assumption for days now that they've been dating.

You had heard something along the lines of "boyfriend", and "you don't know what it's like to be in love", but thinking back at it, you have noticed the two become close. You'd occasionally see them at Big Bang Burger together, or just in Shibuya in general.

You didn't want to jump to conclusions, they aren't together at all, right? It seemed sudden to say the least.

The burning passion behind defending Makoto, the sight of them headed off together to escape, the time they spent time together to the point it's almost real that they were together, the occasional leadership qualities that connected between them in the phantom thieves...

Oh god, they really were together, huh?

Headed away from Crossroads, you bitterly smile. It's okay, you'll congratulate them when they say it.

Although it hurt to think that way.

Why?

You liked Akira. Loved him even. Loved him to the point you'd always be captivated by him. To the point you'd do anything to make him happy, gaining the want for him to love you back.

He wouldn't feel the same way.

That day, all your hopes of confessing were crushed. All your feelings of returned love in this world, vanished. Akira would never love you back, and the truth pierced you like a bullet to your head. You didn't like the feeling one bit, and you deeply wanted him to love you back, although it'd never come true. Your heart hurt, knowing that the truth wouldn't change. After all, Akira and Makoto suited each other so well, it made sense they got together.

You didn't want to regret anything by messing up their relationship. You didn't want anyone to yell at you for being a selfish brat because you're only jealous.

Even after leaving that scene in Shinjuku, you managed to hide your heartache once more.You went into mementos with them, ignoring the fact that Joker and Queen were at the front, fighting side by side. You fought as well in that dark and twisted Shibuya station, ignorant of your disconsolate heart.

You wanted to be happy for them, you wanted him to be happy. To just be happy for the two.

If he was happy, there'd be no reason to be jealous, right? Your feelings wouldn't mean a thing to him because you only want him to be happy with Makoto. It was going to be fine, you thought.

Everything was going to be okay.

...

Until striped carnation petals flew out of your mouth.

It was going to be okay, you thought?

You have fucking hanahaki, now what?

The first time you became aware of this, is the night you came home from mementos the day after the Shinjuku episode. A vomiting feeling struck you, and you coughed out bloody carnation petals. You got hanahaki the day that the lovely couple were found dating. You couldn't accept this, you wouldn't accept this. How could you be this stupid? How can you be stupid enough to fall in love, and get hurt because of it? How more of a dumbass would you be?