-A oneshot story by Serialsleeper-
I opened my eyes as I started to hear her cries. It's midnight and she's out cursing the world and crying her eyes out. There's nothing new with this though. I know Jenna. She does this every night.
Jenna's my bestfriend, my neighbor, my partner in crime, my childhood buddy and even though we're not related by blood, we're sisters. Jenna and I, we were insperable. But things started to change when he came.
It was summer. We were 15 and out to live our lives. It was all fun and games until this tall boy with big brown eyes showed up and gave her the taste of first love.
I turned 17 and then I realized, everything has changed. Jenna, my bestfriend, my neighbor, my partner in crime, my sister--We drifted apart. We hung out with different people. We had a new clique. We went on different colleges. From sleepovers and nonstop talks, to just simple hey's and how are you's until it became just a simple smile.
We drifted apart.
We became mere acquaintances.
We went on to live different lives.
I dont know how it turned out like that, maybe it was because she hung out with the popular crew, maybe it was because I stayed the library junkie that I really am or maybe we grew apart. I dont know how it happen. We just did. Jenna and I, we grew apart just like other people do.
I forced to close my eyes shut as I remembered the sleep I was dying to take. I'm tired. I want to sleep. But no matter how hard I try, I just cant, Jenna's cries wont let me fall asleep.
I stood up, annoyed as fuck.
Its just like this every night.
I thought I would get used to her sobbing but I guess I just cant.
Clutching the pillow close to me like I always do. I raised the blinds of my bedroom window and peeked on her bedroom right across mine.
Jenna and I are neighbors. Our rooms are close to each other. Perhaps this was one of the reasons why we became close in the first place.
Just like every other night, the lights are out inside her bedroom.
If not for the loud cries and wails, I would've thought there's no one inside.
I glanced at Jenna and I's photo that's still left hanging on my wall. Its the only photo left of us. It was when we were kids, back when we both had rotten teeth and pigtails, back when we were having the time of our lives in the playground that used to be our safe haven, back when we were still sisters.
And in that moment, I realized tears were already streaming down my face. Just like Jenna, I began to sob. I cant help but to cry just staring at her dark and empty room. I can still hear her, crying.
"Jenna." I whispered, closing my eyes.
"Jenna stop this." I cant stop crying. Thinking about her and what we used to be is like a blade that lacerates my heart.
"Jenna its been a year since you died, you need to rest, you need to find peace." I said out loud as I chased my breath.
Jenna and I grew apart and next thing I know, there were paramedics outside her house. They were trying to revive her. They were trying to stop the bleeding in her slashed wrist. He parents were crying asking where did they go wrong and how did Jenna ended up taking her own life by letting a blade run through her pale skin.
"Jenna i miss you." I uttered and in a snap I can no longer hear her cries. Her room is dark and in absolute silence. Its quiet. Everything's quiet.
I asked myself over and over again,
What if Jenna never met that boy who broke her heart?
What if Jenna never met those fake friends with sweet tongue and deceptive smiles?
What if Jenna and I never drifted apart?
What if Jenna and I were still as close as a chewed gum on a shoe?
What if I gave her a hug or a smile when she felt her world fall apart?
If we both stayed in each other's lives, maybe Jenna would still have a friend to lean on in tough times. Maybe Jenna wouldnt feel left alone and depressed. Maybe Jenna wouldn't use death as her escape from misery.
At first I was pissed at Jenna for taking her own life. I was pissed because she chose to raise the white flag. But then I realized, she didn't have anyone to lean on. She didnt have anyone to tell her everything's going to be okay. She didn't have anyone to console her when things took turn for the worse especially when her parents separated and peers turned against her after some rumor circulated.
And then it began again.
I could hear her cries again and this time its coming from inside my own room. Behind me.
"Jenna." I whispered as I opened my eyes.
Her cries grew loud as the room got colder that it ever was.
I felt my hair stood at the back of my neck when she started whispering my name.
"Annie..."
I looked at her direction and saw her sitting on the edge of my bed. Crying. Her wrist are slashed as blood is dripping down my bed and floor. Her head is down and her hair is covering her face. The light in my room is Dim and I couldnt see her face but I'm sure its her. Its Jenna. Its the girl who I drifted from.
"Jenna I'm sorry. I should've been there. I should've been there when you needed me. Please rest. Please find your peace. You've been in too much pain, this needs to stop." I whispered as she started to blurr in my vision as if she became transparent until I could no longer see her.
I wasnt scared.
I'm a coward but this time, I wasnt scared at all.
Its Jenna.
I miss her. I miss her so bad.
Suicide is never the cure, care and support was but no one gave her that. If only I could turn back time, I should've been there for her. I shouldve been there at her weakest. I should've atleast smiled at her when our eyes met back when we were both looking out our windows, The morning before she took her life.
--- End of Story.
Sleepy's note :
Lets fight depression one smile at a time! :)
And hey, if you have the power to make someone happy, do it! The world needs happier people :)
Suicide is never the answer. True.
