THE FIRST AND LAST!!

#FIRST LOVE

"Probably I can't think of someone else at the place which he occupied over the years!"

Now that I wonder, I can't make out what's the source of the attraction that held me towards his gleaming self and phenomenal personality. Neither he was the 'Centre of Attraction' for girls nor he was the 'Rude Guy' , but still I feel as if he was one of those boys that got attention because he was kinda different from the rest of the crowd in the class, just like me, pure and innocent.

"Sure?"

Ohkay! I admit, that that was his completely opposite side when he was dissolved into a bulky group of laughter, crackheads and sometimes spoiled brats, but his another side was way too different!

"How did you know this?"

Yeah! Because I knew him; maybe not upto the extent he knew me, but still I did!

Knowing each other for years but "knew and understood" each other profoundly some years back..only 3 years..but still pleasure was at it's immensity and indeed that feeling was greatest of all.

"Is elaboration possible for you dear?"

Umm...doesn't seem so! Actually it's like 'Diving into the enormous ocean to find the precious pearls, knowing that you can't get that deep because you ain't a pro diver.'

"Umm..i asked for elaboration  not complexities!!"

Haha!! 'Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple' Uhooo!! Ha..so what I meant was that I know I lov..no no..i don't know stuff like love or whatsoever!! I just feel like I do have something more than friendship for him but I am not so sure whether am I thinking correctly or not. In most simple terms, I do know there's that 'something something' but what's more true is that I won't be able to know the reason behind me being so comfortable with him.

"Ahh!! So I got it maybe! You meant that despite knowing that pearls exits deep down the ocean, you won't get the feeling of touching that source coz you can't go deep! Right?"

Yeasssss!! But it's kinda more complicated. Actually love is all like this, I read somewhere 'Love is the sense that destroys the sixth-sense and makes the person non-sense'!

"You desperately loved that person"

Never ever I said that I loved him, it's still going but I love him or just like him? Damn..It's really weakening my senses! Why is it so difficult to get to know these existing feelings???

"Becaus.."

Wait..wait..wait!! Spare the feelings, even yourself! Why don't we humans get even ourselves, our state of mind!! I never thought loving someone will be so difficult. Lord, just help this helpless child of yours!

"You admit that you love him?"

I just don't know. Ohkay, so you tell me, what are your precious thoughts about love? When do you think we should slap our shitty minds to get the negative thoughts out of it and admit, we feel it..we sense love!! As I don't get it...insanely mind boggling!

"Love is to be sensed and not to be solved"

'Sometimes the questions are more complicated than the answers'. So tell me what do you mean. I'm a dumbo dear, heal me with your meanings!

"Am I supposed to interfere in between your talks? You are the greatest of all and the one who can solve the perplexities of your life , I'm just another way to escape the unsolving life or you can say, for quite introspection!"

"You are me and I'm you,
Let's just break this queue"
Uhh!! Imma hopeless poet..hah!!
I love talking to you, but less than i loved doing it with him. I agree, he was a star, just like the 'Pole Star' who guided me..

"Through the rights and wrongs, I know these cheesy wor.."

Nope baby! The one who guided me through my easy times, easy meaning that..what I thought was easy!!

"I'll prefer not to know, I wanna feel the depth"

Once it happened that, I was freaked out over the incident that took place. Some loafers crossed paths with me and I was frail at that time. God knows how I escaped that deranged situation. The only who not pitied me and rather put aside the topic, just to scold me, was him!!

"What's so good about it?"

Sentence, that he told me!

"Although I know it, but I'm pretending to be curious. Pacify my curiosity!"

Bby, you're asking me to light up the wet log!! Nevermind, I'll tell you again.
'You are a grown up girl, at least mature to that extent that you can solve these personal issues of yours on your own; it's not like I or we won't help you, but tackling such grave situations, without putting forth a reason to avoid such jerks, seems more meaningful and is the best way to beat your own fear and be courageous!'

"Aaaa!! It feels soo refreshing even though I already know this!! He cared, literally!"

Tormenting wasn't his nature, he was caring and sweet, yet scary.

"Scary?"

Whatever he didn't like, he told straight forwardly.

"Soo Hot!!"

Just stop your luscious imagination! His shyness was hiding behind his candidness! I was lucky enough to make him laugh, even if it was going against his wishes or what you say that 'strightforwardness'!

"I am damn sure that your bond was and is and will be unbreakable!"

Bond..I hope it continues forever! I want it to be everlasting. Hey partner, is 'jealousy' a sign of love? I mean, not exactly but just the start of?

"Not necessarily. But in most cases, it is. But what's the point of jealousy in your case?"

Earlier, when we were connected through chatting, we shared our crushes from our past. And he told me about his "First Love". I don't know but somehow i felt weird and further texting was stopped, for few seconds. My mind was freezed and i was zoned out. Then after realising about the present, I came back to my senses and dissolved the matter into some other topic. Though it's the past now, but even now, when he is not near, that conversation replays in the casette of my mind and the switches ain't under my control!!

"Overwhelming!! I wanna cry out my heart!"

One thing, that satisfies my alone heart is my imagination. My imagination, almost all, especially weird ones, are about him. It's my favourite distraction. I love thinking about him and I enjoy it. Like, I told you that imma hopeless poet, in combination to it, imma a hopeless romantic so I keep making bewitching stories that pats the folded openings of my heart!

"Basically it's love sweetie, your feelings are under developing stage and I'm surely sure that soon the love will blossom."

If it's called love then yeah! I'm in Love and he is my "#FIRST LOVE"

"That means today's counselling with your reflection i.e me, is over and finally I could sleep."

Yeah! Go away, this hopeless romantic is off to another story of her First love, relishing her favourite distraction.

With this she shut her windows down, cutting off the conversation with her own self while gazing at the full moon.

She opened up her personal diary to write..
●"You are my first, hope I'll be your last"

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#Teamlove