It's Nothing Short of Crazy

How Did I End Up Here

I was sweating, its a zoo inside. At least out here, there is some sense of peace. I can see the lights of the endless town, the cars moving like tiny bugs. Everyone has a purpose, it reminds me why I really came out here. God, my brain is racing. How did I get here? Is this what I really want? When I was younger this is what I would dream about. It doesn't feel real, the connections I've made with people, it all feels so genuine. I can feel myself getting lost in my head. Then I hear her voice.

"Hey"

Its soft, sweet.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I just needed some air"

There's something about her, she brings me back down to earth. I think I think too much. She comes up to the balcony and leans against it next to me. She looks amazing as ever in her lean black dress. Tasteful I do add, I think the white stripes down the side add a touch of class. And the cut, too high for my taste, I don't want any more LA douchebags looking at her with hopeful eyes. But she looks so good anyway I'm kind of glad it's cut so high.

"Gorgeous isn't it? Sometimes I wonder how this is my life... but it is"

"How did we get here Natalie, look at us, I don't think I could have ever imagined this, us"

She lets out a laugh like she was trying to hold it in.

"Me neither"

Her smile, god her smile, just please kill me now how did God create such a person. I mean were not even supposed to be together, yet here we are. Against all odds, us. She's three years older than me, she says was the same height but if she puts on any shoes its evident that it's not true. Yet here we are. It doesn't feel real yet you make it seem real. And still with that smile, your little baby dimples, your perfect ivory teeth barely peeking through. I think if there's genuine happiness in the world this is what it would feel like.

I look at my watch, it's nearly seven-thirty. I look back down at my book but realize if I keep reading my mind is going to retain anything. It's a good book really, Sara Gruen, amazing writer but I guess it's just the time of the day, my brain just shuts off. A part of my pitiful routine, I guess this is the time where I usually retreat to my room, make a tea, and binge a few episodes of You.

"You mind if I close this window?"

"No, go ahead"

My roommate returns to whatever it is he does on his dual monitors.

"Oh yeah, you slept through your alarm again, I can wake you up when I get up too if you want"

"No Elliot it's fine," I say "I made the conscious decision that id rather sleep" ah yes, sleep, I would much rather sleep in my warm cocoon of a bed than get up at seven-thirty and walk through the blistering cold to sit and listen to Megan who I must add has no idea what she's talking about, and I don't just say that why my professor would ever let her teach the reviews is beyond me.

"Okay," he says

And now, one of my favorite parts of the night, You. A thriller that I highly recommend, yes it is in some aspects distasteful and encouraging negligent, sick behavior in 2020, please spare me, I find it very entertaining. And that reminds me, you're probably wondering "okay and who the fuck are you?"