[8] ɪ ᴀᴍ ꜰɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴄᴀʟ-ᴄᴜ-ʟᴜꜱᴛ

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"I'm smart with math,"     "But stupid with love!"

*****

"When you spot that cutie in your math class: I am filled with CAL-CU-LUST!"

"You are... such a fucking nerd... I'm so disappointed."

"I know right? I can't believe I'm still single with pick-up lines this sexy."

"HA! YOU WISH IT WAS THE LINES! The only reason you are still single is that you're so committed to A-"

"SHUT UP!" In a split-second flash, my friend, Serenity, and I smacked our hands over Mackenzie's mouth as people continued walking into our Calculus class. The teacher was out and we were goofing around at the back of the class. A thick drop of sweat slid down her forehead.

"Y'all are both so dumb. Why don't you just ask him out already?" Serenity's eyes were fixated on me while donning a look of disapproval. I let out a loud exhale as I turned to look at the boy in question. 

Alexis, the cute boy in my math class. He always wears a baseball hat or beanie, he's pretty good at math, and he's definitely the funny guy in our class. And he's stupid attractive. Swoopy hair, shiny eyes, and I'm 9999999.99999% sure he works out. Plus, he rides his bike to and from school everyday, instead of riding the janky-ass bus like a dork. Aka me.

I spun to look back at my friends and gave them an irritated look.

"You two know good and well that every time that I like a guy and shoot my shot, it always goes horribly bad!  I mean, think about the first boy I had a crush on."

"You mean the boy... from Kindergarten..." They think I'm crazy.

"YES. He RAN FROM ME. LITERALLY, RAN FROM ME. And of course, being the fastest boy in class being enough to check all my boxes, he ran fast. Like a poopyhead." My friends erupted in laughter at the sight of my sour face as I continued to explain my failed attempts at romance.

"Ok, when I was 10, I had my next big crush. This Peace Corp group came by to visit to fill up on, like, rations and all that stuff they needed, right?"

"Right..." They were cautious with answering because the wrong answer would definitely send me off on a raging rampage.

"One of the guys there was super cute and immediately, I fell for him and realized 'I must show him my collection of 'Babysitters Club' books. So, I did the only logical thing there was to do to make him fall in love with me... Pick dandelions and those weird white flowers that you always see everywhere, squeeze them into a bouquet and wait inside of his tent for hours on end." The wide-eyes and mouths hanging was enough to tell me that, clearly, ten-year-old me was insane.

"But you know what he did?"

"CALLED THE COPS?"

"CALLED CHILD SERVICES?"

I just rolled my eyes as I calmly sat at my desk. Our teacher had walked back into class and started teaching the lesson.

"He laughed. And I cried." I finished quietly as our teacher had started taking attendance and I could hear the loud gasps from my friends. I smirked knowing they would have to wait an hour to be able to ask more questions.

~~*~~

"Ok class, you can spend the last 10 minutes on your homework,"

"Right, like I'm not gonna do my homework next class while she's literally picking it up."

"HOW? How do you get perfect grades in this class but you're the worst student ever?" I leaned back in my chair and feigned insult while my friends just rolled their eyes. I then told them the story of how after every single harsh rejection, I decided to dedicate my life to math.

"I hate it, so I decided to challenge myself to be the best goddamn mathematician I could be. It helped distract me from boys for a good portion of my life," I turned to look at Alex, who was currently talking with his friends. He turned and we accidentally locked eyes for a second before he flashed his signature smile and waved at me.

I tried to ignore the inner panic attack in my stomach as I cooly and casually waved back at him.

"Of course, you can see how well that turned out. I ended up being ahead with my math classes and I'm crushing on the cute guy in my math class that I can never have and have never even talked to cause I'm horribly awkward and will forever be alone," I ended up word-vomiting to the girls sitting next to me and they looked tired just from hearing it.

"I'm smart with math,"

"But stupid with love!"

"Thanks." Mackenzie laughed at her genius lyric-quoting as Serenity threw an eraser at her. I used this opportunity to take the borrowed class calculators back to their charging stations.

"Hey!" I twirled around to find Alex's looming figure in front of me. Immediately, my palms were moist with sweat and my heart rate accelerated.

FR*CK FR*CK FR*CK

BE CHILL

BE COOL

YOU GOT THIS

"Hey, whats up bro?"

wtf not that chill

"Not much, I guess... just school. You?"

"Yeah, same," We stood there in silence as I leaned against the counter that had the calculators resting on it. My eyes glanced around the whole room, trying to avoid Alex's gaze so I wouldn't melt and die.

Thankfully, Serenity's loud voice was the perfect thing to break the silence.

"Y/N! YOU GOT ANOTHER WORKSHEET GRADED! 5 OUTTA 5 AGAIN! YOU BITCH!" I smiled annoyingly wide at her as she grumbled back into her seat. A small laugh escaped as I turned back to see a nervous Alex.

"So, you're really good at math huh? You must get the homework then?" He held out the homework worksheet towards me and I glanced over each of the problems. They seemed pretty simple but lengthy and easy to do. For me, at least. I gave it back to him with a smile.

"Yeah, it seems pretty easy," I heard him clear his throat as the bell rang and I waved a goodbye to him.

"Wait! Uh, actually, I was wondering if you'd help me with the homework at lunch? I really didn't get it and you're really smart and I was hoping that we could sit in the library and... talk?"

Lunch was next period and students started filing out of the class as I stood in surprise. My stomach started doing flips as I tried to hide my sweaty forehead.

"Yeah, yeah, that's cool, I can do that. I can have lunch with you and help you with the homework," I got more excited with each word that escaped my mouth.

"Just lemme tell my friends; you can start walking if you want,"

"That's ok. I'll pack my stuff up while you talk and walk with you,"

YES! Yes! YESSSS!

I rushed over to my friends who were impatiently waiting for me. I told them quietly about the whole encounter and they cheered me on and practically shoved me away from them.

Alex walked over and asked me if I was ready as I swung my backpack over my shoulder.

"Yup!"

He started towards the door and I followed behind, but not before extending my hand behind me and getting a high-five from Serenity.

~~*~~

A/N

wHaT bEtTeR tImE tO wRiTe AbOuT sChOOl tHaN wHeN tHe EnTiRe wOrlD iS oN cOrOnA-cAtIoN wOoP wOoP

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