The Ghosts We Were

Chapter One - Tori

I stare in between the computer screen filled with words and the face of my mother which has just popped up on my phone. To ignore one would mean getting behind on my massive deadlines, which already threaten to do me in on a daily basis. To ignore the other would mean facing the wrath of an angry southern mother.

When I really let myself think about it, I know which option would be worse. If I don't get this manuscript edited by the deadline, I risk letting down the publisher and the author. Maybe even losing my job. But ignoring my mother means never hearing the end of it. Forever being known as "The Daughter Who Never Answers Her Phone". Having gossip disguised as prayer requests being circled around her church. Having her neighbors confront me about "leaving my poor mom all alone" when I make my routine trek back to Alabama for the holidays.

I get my heavy sigh out of the way before I slide the button to answer. The last thing I need is another lecture about my "tone".

"Hey mom," I say as cheerfully as I can muster. I look through the open doorway of my office and debate getting up to shut the door. But hopefully this will be a quick conversation and there won't be any point. Maybe she's just forgotten the Netflix password again.

I am not so lucky. It seems the doctor has diagnosed her with gout and put her on a new medication. But the pharmacy in town won't fill it, so he has to drive all the way to Trussville and now she's both angry and bored as she makes the 45 minute hike across the mountain as if she's traveling by carriage and not her slightly used Ford.

Jeannie, my co-worker, rounds the corner and leans against the doorway. I know it's an indication to get off the phone. She has news. I can see it in her eyes. Like lightning ready to strike the moment I hit the end button.

"Okay, Mom. I've got to go. I'll call you when I get off."

"You never do." The disdain in her voice is heavy, and for a slight moment I feel guilty about the hundreds of miles between us and my ridiculously busy work schedule.

"I will. Okay, I love you. Bye." I try to wrap things up as quickly as possible.

"Wait, really quick. I blanked and it was the whole reason I called. Guess who I ran into at the doctor's office?"

There was no telling with mom. She couldn't walk into a grocery store without finding someone to talk to. "We can talk about this later," I start to say but she interrupts me.

"Johnny Cyrus."

She says it innocently enough, but the name, or the proximity of that name to another, makes my entire body tense. Suddenly, I've forgotten about the coworker standing at my door. Suddenly, I'm not 23 any more. Suddenly, I am sixteen in the back of Johnny's Camaro as he gives me and his son a lecture about the dangers of sneaking out in the middle of the night.

My mouth doesn't want to form words. My brain is resonating at a pitch only dogs can hear. My heartbeat is so wild that I am pretty sure Jeannie can see my veins pulsing from where she is.

"How is he doing?" I manage to ask over the insanity of my body.

"He's good. He misses you. Jason is good, too. In case you were wondering. He started his own company."

"Mom." There it was. The name I'd run all the way to New York to avoid.

"I know. I know," she says without actually knowing. "You probably already know all of this from him already. But you haven't visited him the last few times you were down. Is everything okay between you two?"

Truth is I haven't seen him in nearly ten years now. I'd been married and divorced since then. In fact, I'm pretty sure the last time his name popped up on my phone it was to congratulate me on my engagement.