The school bell had rung and the children ran towards the gate to escape the school premises at off time. All this time I was wondering what this ‘off time’ really is? Is it that alarm that rings inside your brain to give a soothing moment that assures that the present struggle is over and the next battle is ready for you to fight. This alarm keeps on buzzing till we lie in our beds with drowsy eyes to fall asleep and this is how we keep on fighting and the cycle of life goes on. This alarm gives a feeling of composure to everyone, every day.
That day I entered into the staff room with the same feeling of composure. At one side there was a sofa setting and on the other side of the room were chairs, yet not arranged. The chaos made me realize that ‘what’s not disorganized can never be organized’. I could see file papers, copies and computers at other side across the room. I sat on one of the sofa and noticed a teacher sitting next to me, having a very familiar round face with beautiful sharp features. I was busy putting strain on my memory about where I’ve seen her, that my husband texted me that he has arrived outside to pick me up.
The very next day I had my staff duty in the main ground where I found the same teacher walking. I stepped forward to greet her and asked for her name. Her name was Angellina. She told me that she knew me. I instantly remembered that we used to travel on the same bus during college. We kept talking for another hour, sitting in the stairs where she told me that she has a son and a daughter. She also told me about her love marriage and how her in-laws never accepted her, so she lived with her parents. Her words explained that she was devoid of so many things in life.
The month of April had started and there were flower blossoms everywhere. Me and Angellina were sitting right at the same place in school. The off time bell had rung and slowly the students were moving towards the exit gate. I could clearly see shadows of sadness in Angellina’s eyes that day. She was completely quiet. “Are you okay? I don’t see that spark on your face today!” I said in a low voice. “No there’s nothing like that!” she said firmly. “You can always share Angellina!” I said as I held her hand in sympathy. “Actually my husband being a
Live-in son-in- law is the only problem. He is jobless due to which even his own parents think of him a burden. Moreover, my age old mother has to serve us and I feel like me, my husband and my children are an excess baggage on my own parents” she explained in a lifeless tone. “Why don’t you get a house on rent?” I added. “This is so unfair that only I have to afford everything!” she exclaimed with a tear rolling down her cheek. “If you really want to get rid of this situation then do try to manage at least a small apartment for the sake of your children” I said with concern. “Okay! I’ll talk to my husband” was all she could say. We slowly moved towards the exit gate sharing each other’s pain.
Next week was our staff annual dinner. Everyone looked really charming and attractive that evening. All I could see was eliciting adoration everywhere. Angellina looked stunningly beautiful and extremely pleasing in her black dress.
“You look gorgeous!” I told her. But she just gave a frail smile in response that vanished as quickly as it came. She avoided eye contact that made me feel something was wrong. She was about to say something when one of our colleague joined us and Angellina went quiet. The evening was full of colors. Some of the teachers presented a beautiful act on the stage amusing the audience who laughed in joy but I got worried after meeting Angellina.
After taking food, I went to sit with her in a corner, a little separate from others. I knew she was holding back her tears. The moment I held her hand and squeezed it, she burst into tears and sobs. “It was my children’s last exam today and so was the last note of five hundred rupees in my bag. My husband asked for money and I denied, on which he locked the room from outside” she said while mourning in tears. “I had to give the money against my will just for the sake of my children” she continued while sobbing. All that evening we kept fake smiles on our faces knowing that we were dead inside. I felt weak to my knees after listening to her story.
Time went by like that and summer vacations arrived. During these holidays Angellina came to my place and I was shocked to hear that she was taking a divorce. “I don’t want to live with someone just for his surname, who cannot even be kind to me and my children!” she said firmly. “A women can bear the hunger of food but never the hunger of love!” she added. It did hit me but I requested to think about it again but deep down I knew she had made up her mind. When she went I kept thinking that when a women is a lover, she keeps dreaming to become a wife and after marriage, she keeps struggling to win her husband’s heart as a lover. During the holidays she did call me once and told me that she had filed the divorce case.
Life kept on moving and the vacations were over. I saw Angellina while marking my attendance and I ran towards her with a bullet full of questions to fire. I inquired about her case but she did not say much other than “I feel that a woman is like a spare part in man’s life, who does not ask for her rights or the deserved love of her part. What else can a man ask for, other than a relationship like this where he has to put in no effort!” she said with a mocking smile.
The next day when I went to school I found Angellina sitting in the staffroom. I was contended that now her life will get better but the moment I went near her, her eyes were telling that she had not slept the previous night. and what was that? A purple reddish mark on her head! Did her husband beat her? She did not say anything other than to hug me and cry. In the tea break she complained that she has started to forget things, I teased her that she was getting old but she seemed serious. I told her to take some rest. She went home early that day and I was satisfied.
It had been four days that Angellina did not come to school. Suddenly our head of department entered the staff room and broke the news that Angellina had been admitted in the hospital. I went straight to the hospital from school. Entering the ICU, my heart was thudding in my chest. I looked around on beds but couldn’t find her. I asked the nurse who pointed towards the bed in front of me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Is this Angellina? I asked myself a thousand times in that one moment of pain and horror. She was all bald and unconscious, lying in the bed like a weak little girl. She was surviving brain hemorrhage. An earthquake hit my brain and I ran outside with tears of disbelief. I was so sorrowful and grief-stricken after seeing my friend like this. It teared me apart from inside.
The next day our principle called for a meeting in the break time where there was a collective prayer for Angellina’s health. Everyone’s eyes were numb with tears and everyone was praying. At the off time the prayer notice from the notice board had been removed and another notice saying ‘Angellina’s Funeral prayer will be offered at 4pm’was put up.
I felt that this notice had absorbed every single drop of blood from my body. I went on the funeral prayer at Angellina’s house where I saw her husband sitting in one corner, crying with regretful eyes. He felt to me the worst man alive. But what was the use of crying now? It was too late to cry! Angellina had left us all and escaped all her worries. I closed my eyes and thought that indeed she’s in a better place.
