Tanjiro // Sorry for being weak

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Warning: Mature language 


Shit i'm not going to make it!

i ran out of the butterfly estate as fast as i could. i had been severely injured from the major fight that happened and had been unconscious for just over a week.

shit, shit , shit. what if i'm too late? i can't loose them. I CAN'T LOOSE HIM!

i pushed myself to run faster. i had to get there as soon as possible. One by one the auras were fading, well not fading more like... disappearing? Teleporting? i don't know. all i knew was that by the time i got to where the auras use to be, everyone but my best friend was dead.

i ran up to him and stared at him for a couple moments. taking in the state of his body. his entire left arm had been cut of and he had two huge cuts, one across his chest and one down his right leg. he had bruises all over his body and his eyes were just barely open , he was just barely clinging onto the little amount of life he had left in his body.

i immediately knelt next to him. i gently placed a hand behind his head and moved it so he was laying in my lap. i laid my hand gently on his cheek and stared down at him. hot tears started falling down my face as i watched him struggle to stay alive. i couldn't do anything and i think that is what hurts the most.

"t-tanjiro, please hold on. i can't loose you too. you're all i have left. p-please don't go!" i held him closer to my body as he gently placed his right hand on my cheek. wiping the tears away.

"y-y/n please don't cry. it doesn't suit you," he smiled weakly at me. 

"y/n there's something i have needed to tell you for a long time now. i'm glad i met you. you have been there for me through everything that has happened since we were kid's and i'm so happy that you've been in my life for so long. y/n i love you. i have since we were kids. i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner but i was so scared you'd leave if i did. i'm sorry. i love you y/n i really do," he was crying, yet through the immense amount of pain he would have been in he still smiled.

"stupid. you should have told me. i love you tanji, i always will. i promise."

He smiled up at be and sat up. he leaned towards me and placed a kiss on my cheek before collapsing. his head rested against my shoulder. i felt my haori become damp from his tears as i listened to his breathing stop.

"tanji? tanjiro? hey your still awake right? tanji c'mon this isn't funny," I started shaking his shoulder gently. he rolled over and i saw his face. his eyes were closed and he still had that small smile he always held on his face.

"t-tanji?TANJIRO! NO PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T GO. p-please please don't go tanji, please.."

I held him in my arms until sunrise. i was screaming for him to wake up while sobbing the entire time. i never thought goodbye would hurt this bad. i never thought it would end like this. i never thought i'd confess to him while holding his dying body in my arms. if only i had been sooner. maybe then he would have been alive to comfort me through loosing everything. but he wasn't.

i spent the rest of my life in solitude. i never came to accept the fact he was really gone.

the feeling of not being good enough never left me. every day i regretted not waking up sooner, i regretted not pushing myself to run faster. i regretted not being strong enough. if only i had done any of those things, then maybe he would have been there with me until my final moments.

and in those last few moments i felt at peace.

i will be with you soon. tanjiro.



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