Facing Death.

Freezing bones and chilling spine… the night gives off ice-cold breeze. Being alone inside my room makes me think about a lot of things. Why am I alone tonight? When will my life get better? The whole room gives me irritations. Darkness enveloped it and knowing that I’m all alone here must give me the jolts… but no.

Observing every corner of the room, imagining scary things suited to the atmosphere… I still can’t find the exact feeling I’m looking for. I want to feel scared. I wish to get scared. The darkness cannot do anything to scare me. The screams of the girl in the next room did not even alarm me.

My parents died when I was six. I witnessed how they died. I was hiding under the bed when my uncle heartlessly shot them both. Blood flowed from both of their foreheads where the bullet went through. My hands covered my mouth so that I couldn’t scream. I was trying so hard not to make any sound until my uncle would leave. That was the scariest night of my life. I became an orphan ever since.

Our neighbors found me two days after the crime. I was still at my same position; hands covering my mouth, lying on the ground by my chest. I remembered how a man pulled me out. They were talking about the crime and how they pity me. His wife gave me something to eat and then afterwards sent me to the nearest orphanage.

I lived here for ten years because nobody dared to adopt me. Every time couples go here, I would always be at the first row when we line up. But the adopters would always skip to the next kid as if they did not see me. At first, I was wondering about what’s wrong with me until I heard a conversation between our head nun and a wife. Our head nun was convincing her to adopt me but the wife said that I’m scary. She said that there was something about me that stopped them from adopting me. It was like I wasn’t human.

I know that I am human. And yes I really am. But I also know that I’m scary. And I admit that. Not like the usual kids, I prefer being alone. I always fail in combing my hair. And I really look scary ‘cause I don’t smile. The other orphans avoid talking to me. Some even avoid looking at me.

I want to get out of here.

“Chari…”

Someone called my name from the hollow space at the back of my window, the only thing that gives way for the light to enter my room. I stared at its direction until it called again.

“Chari…”

That same airy, sweet, little voice called gently. The voice is relaxing my ear. I can hear similar voices like that when I watch horror movies. In this kind of situation I know that I should be scared. But I still can’t.

“Chari…”

Again, like she’s convincing me to look for her. But sorry to say that I am not convinced. I continued sitting on my bed, staring at the window.

The air blew harder.

“Chari…”

Now that one’s a ghostly whisper.

My window opened and the cool breeze swept across my room, doubling the chilliness. I shivered and jumped out of bed. That girl is getting in my nerves. I don’t care if she’s still a kid. Messing with me is the greatest mistake she ever did. I walked towards my window to look outside. Only the swaying trees and the large beautiful moon greeted me. Seeing nobody, I closed my window and locked it.

I hopped back to bed and wrapped myself with my blanket. I cannot sleep without having what I’m looking for. I want to be scared tonight. My parents’ death keeps on playing inside my head and I want to forget about it by being scared. But the night is failing me.

After several seconds, the wind blew harder and it broke my window. Dogs outside howled. I stood up and walked towards it. A seven year old girl is standing outside. She looks familiar. She’s wearing a dirty white dress and her hands are both behind her. She looks exactly like me when I was her age. She doesn’t comb her hair too.

“What’s your problem kid?” I yelled.

She grinned. That’s the evilest grin I have ever seen, enough to make my hair to stand on end but not enough to scare me the way I wished to be scared.

“Chari…” She said.

“What’s your problem?” I asked.

She laughed. Her laugh gave me shivers. There’s something in her that is not ordinary. Something that makes my breath turn into short shallow gasps.

Suddenly, she raised her right hand.  She’s holding a sharp, pointy object. The light from the moon hit the object and it shined. She stood there shaking, laughing with a vicious, cruel glint in her eerie eyes. I can feel my heart starting to beat fast. I tried to talk but my throat just dried and there’s no sound coming out of my mouth. Her chuckles became loud screams as she rushed towards me and flew inside my room through my window. She pushed me and I fell. My head hit the wall hard, making me dizzy.

She’s meters away from me but I can feel like she’s just centimeters near. I could recognize her face. When she raised her right hand, the knife glistened. That’s the time I felt the feeling I was looking for… real scare. With the presence of death, everything would appear scary. I know I am looking at death in front of me. Hot, salty tears flow down my face as I cover my mouth with both of my hands to prevent myself from screaming. The girl slowly walks towards me. The evil, frightening grin never left her face. I fought hard to catch air. This scares me more than I wished for. Facing death did not even reach my imagination. I’m only sixteen. Dying is not yet in my plan. The girl jumps on top of me and once more the glistening knife petrifies me. My cries grow louder. My hands, still, covering my mouth. I don’t want to die. Not now…

“Chari…” She spoke. A voice of a demon got out of her lips.

“That’s my name!” She said as she stabs my chest hard. Two stabs… three… I can feel the knife cut through my ribs. I close my eyes ‘cause I’m beginning to feel dizzy as her weight slowly begins to leave my thighs.

When I opened my eyes, I realized that I am holding the knife. This night must be the scariest night of my life since my parents died. I can’t believe that I stabbed myself. My hands are filled with blood. I can feel my whole body, shaking. I am having trouble catching air. Until I let go of my last.

Finally, I got out of this place.

©antonette09

All Rights Reserved 10/29/12