As a child, we are just at the beginning to gather our most profound lessons. But before we get the wisdom, we experience the pain. Some of us still didn't receive the wisdom. Because in order to receive the wisdom, we have to analyze ourselves and accept that we have flawed parts, so that we can work on them. That brings wisdom with it, we are wiser about ourselves. Wisdom is to know your flaws and to strive to rectify them.
Maybe a feeling, that you also felt, was rejection. As a kid, we talked whatever came into our mind. We laughed enthusiastically about the tiniest things. And sometimes the ideas we uttered or the expressions we showed, led to reactions that made us feel a little rejected. Frowning might have been even enough to radiate a feeling of rejection.
The worst conclusion a kid could make, is to conclude that they aren't worth acceptance, due to the negative reaction they have received. To think that their idea was so ridiculous, that it make them look ridiculous. To believe that their expression should've been prevented expressing, because it led to a negative outcome. At this point, they've already rejected themselves. They've rejected their unique ideas, their enthusiasm, their expression, the things that feel true.
Maybe, they'll stop themselves expressing their own personal truth. Maybe they will suppress revealing their ideas, suppress revealing their enthusiasm, suppress reacting to the world.
But no matter how much people appreciate you, or at least pretend to do so, what will you gain, as long as you're not speaking your truth? What will you gain, if you're not expressing your truth? Acceptance? If you are "accepted" by suppressing your reaction, your expression, you've gained nothing. You've lost.
Because, truth is what gives you power. Truth is what makes you see clear. No matter how bad things will get, which they will, truth is the pillar that makes you stay your ground. No matter how many people reject you, as long as you're expressing your truth, you are not alone. As long as you are accepting yourself, you are not alone. But once you reject parts of you, you'll constantly waste energy to suppress these parts of you. And people will still disagree with you. Stop wanting to influence people in order to feel good about yourself. This is manipulation. Stop making the way you feel about yourself, dependent on other people.
Make the way you feel, dependent on yourself.
The wisdom that the grown up a child can scoop from that painful experience is, that it isn't worth rejecting parts of yourself to gain acceptance from others. Or, it isn't worth rejecting parts of yourself because others do so.
You can decide the way you feel by valuing that being truthful brings you more peace than valuing that other people accept you.
You cannot feel weak or rejected or lost if you are truthfully expressing, no matter what the reactions are. Because, your truth is the language of your soul.
Speak your truth. Express your truth. Throw some light on the parts in your shadow.
