spring showers | ATEEZ Yunho

spring showers

i wanted to see beyond him.

i wanted to feel more than his ghost-like presence.

i wanted to...

yunho stood out to me like no other. his adorable face and even more adorable persona had me wrapped around his finger. i just can't resist him, you know? it's almost like he has a magic hold on me and my emotions. one hell of a man, this one...

we first got to know each other eleven years ago, back when education was the top priority in life. he was the biggest sweetheart, his eyes radiated hearts to everyone in his line of sight and it was so cute. our interests differed, but our conversations never died. we always had something to talk about, be it his then crush on his best friend mingi (he rejected him at first but then he didn't, adorable) or my own crush on my own best friend, seungmin. somewhere along the road our best friends fell in love with each other, though, which left us. single.

i know, i know. y'all expect us to get together, right? well sorry to say that i actually have no interest in romance. and when i talked to him about it, i was surprised to hear him agreeing with me. we only got closer after that.

well, until two years ago, when he disappeared without so much as saying goodbye. or leaving any belongings. or anything.

he was just... gone.

his family apparently forgot he ever existed, his friends don't recall a yunho in their lives, his apartment has since been owned by an elderly couple who have never met him, and worst of all... it began to feel like i never knew him myself.

it was bound to happen after hearing his own mother look at me in confusion when i asked after him.

i sigh into the chilly afternoon air. thinking about my former friend never fails to make me bummed in an instant. my coffee is cold in my glove-clad hands, and my uncombed hair has tiny little white spots all over it from the snow falling over my head.

then suddenly, it's summer. summer with its noise and crowds and unbearable heat. summer with its promises of a great vacation with family and friends. summer with its abduction of my yunho.

i try not to think of how he must be living right now, as the thought doesn't cheer me up in the slightest. how would i know for sure anyway?

years pass by in the blink of an eye, and i'm now in my late twenties waiting for my sister to finish her checkup at the hospital. the days are the same old, routine after routine, no excitement or change to leave me hopeful for anything to come.

and then comes a suggestion from my dad's assistant that i schedule an appointment with a psychologist.

i hesitantly agree, wondering what the implications could span. and before i know it, i'm sitting in a psychologist's office and digging my nails into my palms in apprehension, waiting for the professional to arrive. or maybe he has already?

my nails never leave my palms as the psychologist asks one question after the other. and finally, the bomb is dropped.

"who is this yunho, miss?"

"i honestly don't know... i don't remember anyone with that name."

...forget, so i did.