It had been a week since Winona called David and she still wasn't okay. Several panic attacks and mental breakdowns later she still wasn't her happy go lucky self everyone knew her as. Along with that she'd been waking up abruptly in the middle of the night, hyperventilating, and of course no one being there to comfort her but herself, which was eating her up inside. All she had wanted was the comfort of David's arms wrapped around her, telling her everything was gonna be okay and that he was here for her when she was completely vulnerable and in her worst mental state possible.
Winona had stopped doing a lot of things she'd normally been doing, things that kept her healthy and sane. She quit eating and when she did eat, she was bingeing, and it was never healthy foods either, she ate all the foods you could think of for heartbreak and depression, ice cream, candy, cookies, chips, soda and even resulted in fast food and takeout most nights due to her lack of motivation to cook. She had also stopped her regular showers she took on a daily, one when she first woke up and one right before she went to bed, which slowly turned into her showering at least once every few days. She just had no motivation to do anything, which led her being home a lot and not leaving her house, which was a normal for her. She was completely hurt and shattered to the point that she felt no one would ever truly understand her pain, not even the one she loved.
"Dear Diary...." She began to write. She was still trying to make sense of her pain and torment, which had been eating her up since the day she lost the two most important people in her life, and writing her feelings helped with that.
I'm back, still wishing I wasn't. I'll never make sense of why this had to happen to me. What did I do that made the world think this was okay. I know I'm not the only person in the world who has problems and has suffered this and I'm genuinely sorry for those who did cause this sucks. But I still feel- I still feel- well I don't know what I feel anymore, I can't even describe it. I guess feel, in a way, completely and utterly, dead inside. With no way out, no comfort zone, no safety net. Just me, falling deeper and deeper into my grave as the seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years and maybe even decades go by, with no one to catch me when I fall. I feel like maybe this hurt I'm feeling is a sign, a sign that maybe I'm not meant to be a mother, a wife or even a person. Maybe I'm not meant for living, maybe me not living or breathing is what's best for everyone, especially me. If you're reading this, I'm sorry, I probably let you down in more ways than one. I'm just not happy, nor will I ever be. If you're David and you're reading this, which I don't know how you would be but just in case you are I want you to know that this isn't your fault, none of it is, so please don't blame yourself for my pain, live your life, be happy and just go find someone who can give you things that I can't. But please, if you don't mind, for the sake of your poor old friend Winona, keep me in your mind and your heart, forever, because there's one thing I'll never stop doing, and that's loving you.
Yours truly, Winona
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GET OUT OF MY HEAD | ✔️
Short StorySENSITIVE CONTENT Winona Ryder, a woman who had it all, but wants a different life, wants to be normal. Most of all, she wants to get out of her own head. Both her and David Harbour lost a child, but also lost each other along the way. The only thi...
