Chapter 1

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**quick note:Lia and Andrea aren't YouTubers in this fanfic**

Lia's Pov

The voices inside my head are literally killing. They still are, and always will. But the one time they shut the hell up is when I'm watching O2L.

I know it may sound corny but they were my escape and my only escape away from the hell of a place we call "earth".

It's now been 4 months, and 3 days clean of no self harm. Every night & day my skin itches and the voices inside my head are just telling me to pick up my blade and just do one cut.

But, I block the voices out by opening up my laptop, and turning to YouTube.com

Without listening to the guys in their videos and taking what they said into my heart, I wouldn't be breathing today.

Kian, Ricky, Sam, Connor, Trevor, and Jc all had a part in my healing process and my escape.

Every day I would look forward to a new video from one of they guys.

On Sundays when there wasn't an upload, I would just research their older videos, and once again, it took me away from my anger, sadness, and most of all, the voices inside my head that we're trying to kill me.

As I lay here, in bed, watching Jc's video with Kian "The Hunger Games" video I'm laughing, smiling, and not thinking of anything else but my happiness.

As I'm watching it, I hear foot steps coming up the stairs and of course it's my 'mother' unfortunately.

My dad isn't in my life but unfortunately my mom is. Enough said.

"Get off your computer, and come out of your room. All you do is stay in there and you only come out to eat. It's ridiculous." She spats towards me as she barges in my room.

"If only you knew." I whispered to myself not thinking she could hear me but apparently she did.

"What the hell do you mean by that Lia?" She sneered

"Just forget about it. Nothing." I said low key

"If you don't come out of your room I'm canceling your plane ticket to Vidcon. End of the damn story." She spat

"What the hell do you mean by 'Canceling my plane ticket'? I'm the one who has saved up for 2 years for this. 2 years I have saved up for this. You aren't paying anything towards it. I'm paying for everything. For the love of Pete you wouldn't even give me $20." I said now getting pissed off.

"That doesn't matter Lia. I'm your mother, you're 17, you live by my rules."

"Mom, Vidcon is June 23rd. I turn 18 the 21st."

"That's it. You aren't going to hold that 18 shit over my head any longer. I'm canceling your plane ticket." She screamed and slammed the door as she left.

I hurried up and followed her but it was too late. She had just called American Airlines and canceled it.

I was suppose to leave here on the 22nd, it's now the 20th. There is no way I'm getting another plane ticket to California this short of notice. Shit.

I hurried up called them back and said it was a mistake.. The lady at the airport canceled the canceling request and said everything was back and ready to go.

Thank you Lord for my plane ticket not being cancelled.

Just 2 more days Lia. Just 2 more days.

~~

The day had flown by after the fight with my mom. My wrists started itching for more cuts after I fought with my mom but I didn't let the voices and itching her to me. Instead I remained my self of Jc's Quote "Stay Cloudy my beautiful clouds. You're all beautiful and stay strong. I love you all so much"

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