i have anxiety , I fall in love the way you'll do. The only difference is while I am falling in love, my brain is also coming up with a thought of why I shouldn't.
someone who is an anxiety falls in love slowly, cautiously because they are always thinking--- this can't possibly last,this can't possibly be real,this is too good to be true, something is going to ruin this at same point.
someone with anxiety falls in love while feeling a stange mixture of hope and dread.
Hope- that I have finally found someone I can talk to, someone I can depend on, someone I can trust.
Dread- that I will not be good enough,I don't deserve this,
my heart sleeps peacefully in someone else's hands but
it could end up being shattered at any moment.
but someone with anxiety falls in love whole heartedly.
they fall in love fiercely and absolutely with the commitment to something that's finally light and exciting and real. they feel secured but certain, out of control and also lighthearted.
someone with anxiety appreciates the big stuff but falls in love with the little moments- deep sleeps, across the room looks in a noisy place, holding hands. they fall in love during reassuring conversation.
they fall in love with the little things because the little things make then feel normal.
the little things with someone special reminds them that it doesn't have to take them much to bring them back from a dark night or a panic attack or a work meltdown.
I fall in love the same as you do- I fall in love intensely and vulnerably and wholly .
but the only difference is getting to a place where they believe that they truly deserve it.
- kp
