Rancher submissive

Finding me

When I was young like six something scary happened I never told anyone, except my mom Katlyn but all I told my mom of what happened was that my father molested me. I kept to my self and never really like to be around men, the only one I was close with was my brother Jake. He protected me from the world because he had an idea of what happened but he was always good at reading people. I was scared of men and had panic attacks when I was left alone. I never left my mothers side.

When I had to visit my dad one week of the month when I was about eight. I hated it because he was working so I had to be with his girlfriend and her two kids and I was always locked in a room with them. Amber was older I don't remember how much. Becca was my step sister and she was about four years younger I always tried to protect her from Amber. Amber like to beat us and make us hurt so I was the one that took everything to protect Becca. Amber would stab us with pencils, slap us, and beat us with belts and she was in charge of baths and they would always be cold.

Two years past my mother went to court to file for full custody of me. She won. I never had to go back again. We even got a restraining order on my father so i would be safe........

Five years later in my life. I looked more and more into what I liked and I watched porn a lot to learn more about what the girls liked and how men treated them. It disgusted me but it made me wet at the same time. I guess you could say I had mixed feelings. I knew I was messed up in the head but that never stopped me from liking the things I did.

On my sixteenth birthday I told my mom I was going on a date, but what I didn't tell her was that it was a older guy that was a dominant. I was talking to him on an app called whisper and he told me he knew exactly what I needed and wanted because I told him what happened and how it made me feel. He picked me up and I was really shy and uncomfortable. His name was Luke and he had brown hair and green eyes he was tall dark and muscular. We did come up with a safeword. At first he didn't do anything I didn't want him to. I was a virgin and was still scared of sex. And he knew that too. It stared off soft and slow but quickly sped up I told him my limits were no anal, no slapping of face, and no humiliation. But in the end it happened anyway he took what he wanted. When I lost my virginity my hands were tied to the top two bed posts and my legs were spread with a spreader bar and the bar was tied and went up my back and around my neck so if I was gonna move my legs I would choke myself. I was on my back so if I pulled the rope would stay unless he loosened it and he took me right there I was scared but he gave me closure. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I seen him once a week. He would force anal which I hated but I couldn't do anything about it. He loved to freeze the butt plugs and dildos, so they were cold when he put them up my tight arsehole. He would buy new stuff to put up my arse and he loved making me hurt he would buy butt plugs that would inflate it hurt but like I said I couldn't do anything, bondage was always involved. But I never once used my safeword.

I wanted more in life than to be just a submissive. I was young and shy and still scared of the world. I had to grow and learn.

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Please bare with me I'm new at writing.
Authors note: based on true story. (In the beginning) and I put stuff in that interests me.