Stay

Stay; a one shot

Akutagawa traced patterns on Dazai's chest as the older slept. It was daybreak and the younger hadn't been to sleep yet. He couldn't. Not with Dazai here next to him.

It had been four years. Four years since they'd last seen each other. Four years since they'd last spoken. Four years since Dazai had suddenly given up everything in exchange for a new life.

Four years since he'd left Akutagawa in the dark. Alone within the Port Mafia.

He forgave him. He always did. Dazai had a hold on him. So tight he wasn't sure he'd ever escape it. Not that he wanted to.

The brunette shifted closer to him in his sleep, threatening to wake up if anything so as attempted to disturb him.

Akutagawa stopped his tracing in favor of turning his head to look at the sleeping boy next to him.

Dazai had always been captivating. From the moment Akutagawa laid eyes on his superior he'd known he would be helpless against him.

It wasn't fair. How Dazai was able to throw his emotions to the wind. Suddenly turn them off and act like nothing between them had ever even happened. Like it didn't mean anything.

Even so, Akutagawa couldn't stay away. He was weak. He'd always been.

Especially for Dazai.

"What are you thinking about?" Dazai's words came out thick, laced with exhaustion and a minuscule amount of irritation.

They had a long day yesterday. Taking down the Guild and escaping the Mafia without either of them getting caught.

Having to hide out here, in the agency, away from prying eyes and questioning glances. Away from the world outside and the dangers that awaited beyond these four walls.

There was no doubt Dazai was ready to leave. Probably get as far away from Akutagawa and the city as he could. The agency wouldn't miss him. And the mafia wouldn't mind him disappearing either. They would chase him til they found him and executed him.

Akutagawa couldn't let him go. They needed Dazai. Whether he wanted to help them or not, they wouldn't win this fight without him. "You." He replied, allowing their eyes to meet.

Dazai gave a slight chuckle, lips quirking into a smile. "Always a bad idea, Akutagawa-kun." He mused and placed a gentle kiss on the younger's forehead.

Akutagawa closed his eyes briefly, trying to let the affection seep into his skin, leak through his veins and reconstruct his DNA.

"Stay." Akutagawa whispered. "Please."

Dazai shifted, sighing out as he ran his fingers through the younger's hair. He pulled it lightly, earning a soft gasp from Akutagawa.

Dazai hummed and sighed again. Not saying anything. He couldn't make promises right now.

Leaning in, he brushed their noses together, reveling in the way the younger fell apart beneath him.

Dazai kissed him, slow and hard. Burning his way through Akutagawa. It was such a familiar feeling that it almost didn't hurt when he pulled away.

Akutagawa breathed out. "I love you."

It was dangerous. The game they were playing. If they didn't start playing fair one of them was sure to lose.

Dazai brought a hand up, gliding his thumb over Akutagawa's cheek. "I know." He mumbled.

The younger swallowed, keeping his eyes locked with Dazai's. "I love you. Dazai-san." He repeated.

Just once. He wanted to hear him say it just once.

"I know." Dazai mumbled again. "I love you, Ryūnosuke."

Akutagawa didn't know when he started crying. He didn't even notice Dazai was humming until he stopped to wipe his tears.

"Akutagawa-kun." Dazai said.

He hiccuped. "Stay with me." Akutagawa cried. It was too much. He couldn't let Dazai walk away again.

It would hurt. Too much. Akutagawa wasn't sure he would make it. Not if he had to do this again.

Dazai shushed him, wiping his tears again. "Compose yourself."

It wasn't an order. Akutagawa would have died if it were. There was no way he could control this. It had been building up inside since the day Dazai left him bleeding out, dying, on the sidewalk.

"I can't." Akutagawa said, unable to will the tears away.

Dazai wiped the boy's cheeks again, leaning down to kiss his lips. "I'm not going anywhere." He compromised. Another kiss. "I'll stay."

Akutagawa sobbed as he kissed him back. "I-I can't do this, Dazai." He hiccuped again. "I can't do that again. You can't leave me."

Dazai shushed him again, petting his hair softly. "You don't have to. I'm here, Akutagawa-kun."

Dazai pressed another gentle kiss to the raven's forehead, holding him close as he cried and cried and cried.

Dazai wasn't sure he'd ever stop. But he held him, and he wasn't going to let go until did.

Dazai hummed softly as the raven shifted. The older pulled back to look down at Akutagawa.

"You're safe now." Dazai whispered, closing the space between them again to brush their lips together.

Akutagawa reflexively wrapped his arms around Dazai's neck. "Tell me you'll stay, Dazai."

Dazai couldn't help the smile that graced his lips. He kissed the raven once. "I'll stay." And again.

Hard this time. Leaving them both breathless and yearning for all they'd missed out on these past years.

Akutagawa kissed back. Desperate to take and take and take anything Dazai would give him.

He was afraid he'd never get enough.

And Dazai hoped he never did.