Sarah sat in her favorite chair on the porch drinking coffee. It was a Saturday, the sun was starting to fill the morning sky and the air felt fresh. Sarah sipped her coffee and tried to think positive thoughts. Her cousin was getting married this afternoon, her entire family would be at the wedding, drunk, asking about Sarah's love life. She could tell them the truth. She had no love life, no friends. She was depressed and getting fat. Or she could lie, tell them she had a handsome boyfriend, a hedge fund manager who takes her on lavish trips and fucks her brains out..... No one would believe her.
She walked out to the barn by the woods to feed Penelope. A 500 pound pig needs a lot of food and Penelope loved her food. Sarah threw 2 buckets of vegetable cuttings, bread and corn into Penelope's trough. The brown spotted pig rushed up to the fence in delight, burying her nose in Sarah's hand. She was a very sweet pig. Always taking time to say hello to Sarah before eating. Her piggy nose floated over the pile, little squeals of excitement sounding each time she found a mushroom. Sarah watched Penelope longingly. How wonderful must it be to have such a simple life. Penelope's daily agenda consisted of eating, rolling in the mud and sun bathing.
Her best dress didn't look too bad. She admired herself in the mirror. At least she was only 27. Her aunt Jane was 55, a morbidly obese spinster with halitosis. She walked to the end of her lain and caught a bus. Fuck, she thought. The buss ride would take 45 minutes and she had forgot her book. There was only so long you could stare out the window. A woman got on the bus at the next stop trailing 2 children. They were probably 8 years old, both had sandy blond hair and muddy little faces. The boy rode his toy fire engine up and down the back of the seats. He made a neeee nawww neeee nawww nouse. The little girl hung onto her mother's arm asking question after question. "Why are their handles hanging from the ceiling? Why are the windows see-through?" Each of her mother's answers prompted another question. Why, why, why. Sarah wondered what it must be like for the mother. Too have little humans who depended on you to survive. Sarah vaguely remembered how it felt to be a child. The feeling of comfort and safety you got from knowing your parents would protect you. Where had that feeling gone? It must have faded away. Leaving an empty void. She started thinking about how lonely she was, her stomach sank. Who would protect her. She didn't even have a best friend. Someone to call when she had news. Someone to gossip with. Someone to come over on the weekend to drink wine. Absentmindedly she noticed the bus had stopped at the church. Awfully slowly her brain registered this information and she launched herself at the door as it swung closed. Her hand managed to get between the sliding sections of the door and she wrestled frantically. The bus driver noticed her, rolling his eyes as he reopened the doors.
The church service was deathly boring. Thank god for the reception where Sarah made a bee line for one of the waiters. Her first champagne went down a little too fast so she forced herself to sip the second glass. Her attempt to avoid talking to anyone seemed futile when aunt Jane marched up to the bar to order a coke.
"Sarah, don't you look pretty. Did you bring a plus one?" Asked Jane.
"No, just me today." Said Jane forcing a smile.
"Me too, isn't it comforting to know you're turning out just like your aunt Jane."
Sarah excused herself to go sit on the toilet seat in the bathroom. She absentmindedly scrolled through her phone. How pathetic was she. Why couldn't she be normal? Enjoying the party like everyone else. She wasn't special. Life didn't get any better. She might as well enjoy it before global warming evaporates all the oceans. She marched to the dance floor, throwing back a full glass of champagne on the way. Half her family were dancing to some new song Sarah had never heard of. She threw herself into the dance, closing her eyes to minimize her embarrassment. She flung her arms in the air and swayed her boy. In her mind's eye she was either moving seductively or she looked like an idiot. The latter seemed more likely. Her cousins thronged around her. The twins squeaking with excitement. Aunt Jane throwing her massive weight from side to side. Jonah, Jack and James the three brothers were grinding against their female cousins with a little too much enthusiasm. No one seemed to be embarrassed, no one was judging her. Sarah started to feel better, her frustration forgotten in the energy of the dance. A handsome man she didn't know was dancing extremely close to her. He seemed to be moving closer as he caught Sarah's eye. She blushed, he was hot. Too hot for a shit hole town like this. He must have flown in for the wedding. Suddenly he took her hand and spun her into his arms. Surprisingly she threw herself into the dance. They jigged and shimmied. Sweat beaded on his head as he spun her around again and again. She could feel his hard biceps each time he twirled her. They were very hard.
Breathing heavily, they silently signaled each other to go to the bar. He grabbed her hand, leading her through the throng of people.
"I'm Theo. You dance good."
Sarah laughed, "You dance good too." She teased.
"I meant to say, never mind. Your Sarah aren't you? Billy told me about you."
Sarah flushed at the news that someone had been talking about her. Billy was the groom, so the only reason he would mention her, a single woman, was if this guy was single and they thought she would be a good wife and have lots of babies.
"I'm very fertile." She blurted.
"Good to know." He said.
"I just wanted you to know that. In case it was important. Champagne?" She shoved a glass in his face, attempting to distract him from her nervous chatter.
He took her hand and pulled her back onto the dance floor. They danced for hours until her feet were screaming at her to stop. Then they danced some more. Every few songs they would get more champagne until both of them were quite fucked up. She didn't remember the ride home. Apparently he ordered a cab but she must have fallen asleep because three was a big blank spot in her memory before arriving home. She felt vaguely embarrassed at having a stranger in her farm house. He probably thought her style was kitch. He pushed her up against the kitchen table as he started kissing her. She felt so out of breath as his lips pressed into hers. They ended up on top of the table, her underneath, him on top as he fucked her. God she loved Champagne. It blew away most of her self doubt. It felt so good to just experience something without thinking. They fucked on all of the furniture in the kitchen before ending up sweaty and exhausted in bed.
The next morning Sarah felt sunshine stabbing into her eyeballs. Something was terribly wrong with her head and she desperately needed water. She sat up too fast and her stomach gave a little angry growl, threatening to send vomit surging up her throat if she didn't make more of an effort to move slowly. Theo lay on his stomach, the covers wrapped around his legs leaving his amazing ass for all the world to see. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully so she crept out of bed to make coffee.
She stood on the porch, sipping a cup of french roast as the sun crept across her farm. The cool air felt good on her burning forehead. What would she say to Theo when he woke up? Should she offer him breakfast? He probably wouldn't want anything, he'd probably want to leave immediately. What if he was hoping to sneak away without her noticing. He might be embarrassed if he finds her in the kitchen. She should feed the animals so she's out of his way.
Gathering up her bucket she made her way to the pig pen. Penelope was thrilled to see her. She squealed and ran around her pen, flinging mud into the air with her snout. Sarah filled the trough and Penelope pressed her nose into Sarah's hand to say thank you. Sarah stroked Penelope's head as she silently berated herself. It was stupid to leave Theo to sneak out. The first time in a long time a gorgeous guy displays interest in her and she doesn't even make an effort to maintain his interest. She hated herself for being such a wimp. Why did she always worry about embarrassing other people? Who gives a fuck about being embarrassed. She couldn't go through her whole life as a passive observer of others. Her life wasn't a fucking TV show. Tiers of frustration beaded in the corners of her eyes. At least Penelope was genuine, living in the moment. At least she had her animals.
"Whose that." Said Theos voice.
Sarah lurched as she heard the voice behind her. Frantically she wiped her eyes and turned around forcing a smile. "Penelope? She is my step mother."
Theo laughed, "You turned your step mother into a pig? She must have been very wicked."
His laugh lightened the mood and Sarah felt a genuine smile rise up from her dead insides.
"Your makeup looks lovely this morning." Said Theo
What did he mean? Sarah wasn't wearing any makeup. She rushed to Penelope's water pale. Her reflection showed mud streaked all over her face. The mud from Penelope's nose had got on her hands and she had rubbed it all over her face when trying to get rid of her tiers. Panicking, she plunged her face into the freezing water, scrubbing furiously. As she stood up, water dripped all over her shirt. She must look absolutely mad. "Is that better?" She asked.
"Perfect, I prefer my girlfriends to be covered in mud and water from a pig sty. It has a certain je ne sais quoi." said Theo giggling.
Sarah felt horrified. She wanted to disappear into the ground to escape from the embarrassment. Theo noticed the look on her face. "I was joking. You're perfect. In fact...." He strode up to Penelope, pulling a chunk of mud off her snout. He rubbed the mud all over his face and plunged his entire head into the trough of water. Pulling his head up he asked. "How do I look?"
Sarah fell in love with him in that moment. She felt all her embarrassment melt away and an uncontrollable laugh gripped her entire body. She was laughing so hard she kept snorting but for some reason it didn't embarrass her. Penelope was thrilled, she also started snorting. Then Theos face broke into a laugh and the three of them stood there for 5 straight minutes snorting and laughing covered in mud and water.
The end
