I Bleed (Ziall One Shot)

WARNING: Self-Harm

So basically, this is a little drabble type thing that I had to write for a contest to cowrite a story. (I didn't win)

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He couldn't breath. How could he have been so stupid? He ran his hands through his hair and frantically searched for the one thing that would help him. He found it finally, the tiny, sharp piece of silver metal glittering in the dark room like an evil savior.

*Flashback*

"Hey, Zayn," Niall said softly. They were intertwined on Zayn's couch.  

"Mmm?" Zayn mumbled.  

Niall lived for moments like this, where he could pretend that Zayn was actually his. And not Perrie's.  

But then he would remember it was just a fantasy. Zayn would never love him like that. And everytime reality crashed down on him, it hurt ten times worse.  

"Niall?" Zayn asked.  

"Yeah?" Niall sighed.  

"You seemed like you were going to say something to me, but then you zoned out," Zayn said.  

Niall closed his eyes and nuzzled into Zayn's neck. He heard the other sigh softly and pull him tighter. Why couldn't this be following a kiss? Why did Zayn have to be so damn perfect? And so damn off limits?  

Every day that Zayn didn't notice the pale scars crossing Niall's wrist and hips was like a blessing and a curse. Niall was thankful Zayn didn't see them, but if he did see the scars left by the cutting, maybe he would finally realize how much Niall was hurting.  

"What's wrong?" Zayn asked.  

"Nothing, why?" Niall responded, perhaps a bit to quickly. 

Zayn growled and sat up, pulling Niall with him.  

"You're so quiet lately. When I try to talk to you, I feel like you ignore me. You aren't even eating anymore. You're keeping something from me, something big. Is that why you're pulling away? Even Liam, Louis, and Harry have noticed, Nialler. Please tell me what's wrong, you tell me everything!" Zayn begged.  

Niall looked away. How could he tell Zayn 'Its you that's making me like this, you make my heart stop every time you smile, and when you say I love you to her, my heart shatters'?  

He stayed silent.  

Zayn threw up his hands.  

"This is what I mean! You're acting so weird Niall, please tell me what's wrong! I want to fix it!" he cried.  

"You can't fix it. Nobody can," Niall mumbled.  

"I can try," Zayn said hopefully.  

Niall raised his boring blue eyes and looked into Zayn's beautiful gold ones. They were pools of a rich caramel that Niall fell deeper into everytime he saw them.  

"No. You can't," he insisted.  

"Niall, I care about you," Zayn sighed. 

"That's not enough," Niall blurted before he could stop himself.  

Zayn looked stunned.  

"What do you mean?" he asked.  

Niall bit his lip. Zayn knew to much.  

"Don't you dare go silent on me!" Zayn shouted, "God, don't you see you're hurting me?"  

"Don't YOU see that YOU'RE killing ME? Everytime you're with her twists a knife deeper into my heart. I can't stand hearing you talk about her! God, are you stupid? Are you blind? I'm in love with you and I know that there isn't anything anybody can do to take this pain away!" Niall exploded.