𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙 [𝗻𝗼𝗮𝗵 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗻𝗮𝗽𝗽] ✓

FORTY SEVEN

i keep forgetting y'all can't see all my unpublished books on my profile like i can and i have like a heart attack every time it looks like you can lmao
letters coming next chapter
i don't usually say this, but listen to the song while you read if you want <3
Y/N POV

Noah Schnapp

Y/n: If you still want to talk,
 let's meet at a cafe nearby my dorms.
I'll text you the address.

Noah: Okay, thanks for being willing to talk.
Read 

*****

Here goes nothing. 

I texted him the address a few minutes ago and I just arrived at the cafe. It's the one Adrian and I come to all the time. I thought maybe it'd comfort me while I talk to Noah. I don't really know what to expect considering we haven't talked in months. When I broke up with him I didn't want it to end badly, but I think that's the only way it could've gone. Ever since then the thought of talking to him scares me. Especially since he just showed up out of the blue with no explanation. 

Speaking of Noah, here he comes walking straight towards our table. I take a deep breath and smile up at him. Let's at least try to make things as not awkward as possible.

"Good morning." Noah says.

Good morning, sunshine.

"Good morning." I reply smiling. 

"So-"

"What did you want to talk about?" I cut him off.

"Well first I wanted to give you these." Noah says handing me a manila envelope that looks filled to the brim.

"What are they?" I ask, opening it.

"They're letters. Don't open them yet, please." He says and I nod closing it.

Oh. The letters I found on his desk. The ones the he poured his heart out in. 

"Oh, okay. Listen, Noah..."

"It's fine, I know about Adrian. Jake told me about him. Don't get mad at him though, I kind of forced it out of him." Noah says.

"Okay, good, I was kind of scared to tell you." I say chuckling and Noah laughs a little, but I can hear the pain in it.

We sit there in silence and I'm starting to wonder if this was a bad idea. 

"I know you have a boyfriend, I know that I have absolutely no place saying this, but I have to. I love you, Y/n. I always have. When we were together I think I was so convinced you'd never leave me that I just let it happen without even realizing I was losing you. You were right. We could have stayed together if I wasn't so stubborn and that is my biggest regret-"

"Noah.."

"No, I get it. I didn't come here expecting us to get back together, but I just needed to tell you that. Right now, all you need to know is that no matter what I will love you and I will always be here for you. Everything about you is...perfect. Like, I can't explain it. You're beautiful but there is so much more to you than that. You're smart and funny. No matter what you're kind to everyone and you care so deeply. You're everything I could've asked for and I wish I had realized it earlier. After this we never have to talk again. Just know I'd do anything for you, hell, I'd die for you. Don't let anyone treat you how I treated you when we fought. You deserve the world, Y/n."

I sit there in silence, not knowing what to say.

"Just read the letters, okay?" Noah says and stands up.

I sit there with tears beginning to streaming down my cheeks. I look up at him and he leans down to kiss me on the cheek. I let him and close my eyes, letting even more tears fall. My hands clutch the letters and I hold them to my chest, right where my heart is.

I watch as he turns and walks out of the cafe, leaving me a crying mess. It's like I was transported back to when we broke up. All those feelings of heartbreak and loss are flooding back and it's scaring me. 

And it made me realize something.

I love him.

And I just let him go.

a/n -

it took me so long to realize CALM is their initials (on the 5sos album)

<3 lilia