I Am the Monster Under the Bed

The Monster

Hi, I'm the monster. The one that hides under the bed. Not your bed, just his. I like it under the bed. It's dark, warm, safe. And I can keep him safe. From the monster in the closet. There's no monster in the closet, but there are monsters hiding in plain sight, wearing the skins of a people, kind smiles. Those are the worst kinds of monsters. The ones that are monsters for fun. I would give almost anything to look like them. To look human. To not be feared. I want him to like me. I like him. He's very nice. He talks to me sometimes. Never for very long and I'm sure he thinks he's simply talking to himself, but a monster can dream.

I look over at the strip of light coming from the door. His bag falls roughly to the floor and I wince. The springs squeak as he sits, and I shrink a little. I have to fit, no matter what, so I can change my size. But I can never look like them. I've tried. I failed. I cried.

"Today sucked." I look up at the box spring. "They said awful things to that boy. They would say the same about me. I'm a coward," so am I.

he grunts and stands, and I follow his shoe covered feet with my eyes. I wonder what kind those ones are. They're new. They look nice.

"Why don't you ever come out?" he asks. I stay silent. I hold my breath. I shrink smaller.

Because, I am a monster. I am the horrible, scary, ugly monster hiding under the bed. My mind whispers. He sighs again. He lays on the bed and reaches for his bag. I watch the bag disappear slowly onto the bed.

We lay in silence, him doing the homework he complains about and me finding comfort in his breathing. In the sound of his heartbeat. It quickens for just a moment and I look up, worried. It slows consistently until I hear him fall over. I smile. He's sleeping. I slip into the light. I straighten up his books and papers. I remove his jeans and shoes and pull his plush grey blanket to his chest. I touch his cheek lightly and smile. I press a kiss to his forehead and linger for a moment, just a moment. I sigh and slink back into the sheltered darkness of the bed.

He wakes up later, not sure how much later, with a groan. He rolls over a few times before he stands and stretches. He moans as his joints pop. I don't like it when they pop. He loves it. He chuckles and starts going through his papers again. I look at the window, trying not to come out into the artificial light of the room. The sun is going down. He should be going to sleep. Or not. The last few years, he stays up later and later.

"Thank you," he mutters, and his hand swishes the sheets brushing the floor. I nod. I would do anything for you. "I want to know you. I want to know your name." He says after a few minutes of the sounds of his pencil on paper and his nimble fingers flicking pages. I look up and sigh. I open my mouth and hesitate before answering him.

"Forgive my voice, I do not use it often. I have no name; I am simply the monster." I answer quietly in a crackly voice. I wince at the noise. He brushes the sheets again. I shrink.

"Would you like a name?" he asks. My eyes water. I hum.

"I would love a name, thank you," I whisper. He chuckles.

He goes silent. I let the silence continue. He takes a deep breath and gets off the bed. He sits on the floor. I crawl away backwards. I can't let him see me. He takes another deep breath. "It would be easier to name you if I could see you." He says. I whine. Like an animal. I can't do that, he can't see me. He sighs. "Alright, how about Cas?"

It continues like that, well into the night. His mom came up to ask about dinner. He declined. I wanted to speak up, but she was still there. She sighed. She left. He suggested another name.

"I like the sound of Kai. Short for Nicolai or something. But only if you like it." He says after a while. Kai. I like it.

"I like that one." I answer him. He claps his hands. I look at mine. Inky black skin wrapped tight around palms with five large claws each. "Will you put your hand under the sheet?" I ask, feeling my cheeks heat. He pushes a golden hand under. I like his hands.

I hold it, folding his fingers and tracing the creases gently. I put our palms together. Mine are bigger. I put my left hand in his right, closing my fingers on his hand, pushing them between his. He does the same, holding on tightly. My cheeks heat again. My tummy turns and I bite my lip. Why are my teeth so sharp? Sharp teeth are scary.

I look at our joined hands. I smile. I like the way it looks. The way it feels. I trace his forearm with my eyes before looking at my own. They are similar in shape, though mine have horns coming from the elbow and are the same inky blackness as my hands. He leans on the bed. I scoot closer. I close my eyes and breathe softly.

I open my eyes and the room is still its artificial brightness. I peek at the window. The sun is high. I slept. All night. Woah. Weird. His bag's gone, his shoes are gone, his door is open. I shut the door and get back under the bed. I sigh and roll over, shrinking and falling back asleep.

I wake up to screamed sobs. I crawl out and squeak when the door slams open. I freeze at the pain on his face. I grow to normal size and walk over to him. I shut the door and pull him into my chest. He grasps for me like he did when he was little. Nightmares plagued him and I let him hold my hand until he calmed down. I hush him and rub my hands down his back. He whines and cries into my chest, nuzzling the skin every once in a while.

He calms after a while and pulls back. Or, he tries. I tighten my hold on him and keep his face pressed to my chest. My heart rate quickens. He can't see me. I'm still a monster. My name is Kai, but I am still the same monster I was a week ago. My eyes water and I meet the golden yellow irises in the mirror above his dresser. A single tear rolls down and makes the skin of my cheek shine. I bare my teeth, my scary, shark like teeth. I look at the ear that's visible. Pointed sharply at my hair and has only a little bit of a lobe. My brows are sharp, angled almost to the point where I look angry. I poke my tongue out. Normal aside from the deep slit in the middle.

I sigh as more tears tumble down the surface of my face. "Please, Kai, let me see." he begs into my chest. I shudder as goosebumps rise at the feeling of his warm breath across my skin. My shoulders slump and I let go of him. I whimper and keep my eyes clenched shut as tears work their way through the cracks. His soft hand cups my cheek as his thumb gingerly brushes away my tears. More replace them quickly. His other hand covers my other cheek and I lean into his tender touches.

His fingers trace my face, my jaw, nose, cheek bones, eyebrows. He traces the folds of my ears gently. I shiver again and goosebumps raise the flesh of my shoulders and upper back. He pulls my bottom lip down to show my teeth. I whimper again. My teeth are one of my scariest parts. He lets it go and brushes his fingers over the lip. I breathe over the digits and he giggles. A smile pulls my cheeks. He touches my cheek close to my jaw.

"You have the cutest dimple right here." He mutters. My face heats and rather than see its evidence in my pigment, he feels it on his fingers and palms. He laughs again. He goes quiet after a moment. He touches my lashes and my lids twitch. "Open your eyes, Kai," He whispers, his breath ghosting over my mouth. I lick my lips and slowly crack open my eyes with several blinks.

I take in the awe on his face. The smile pulling his light pink lips. His hair dances around his head with the illusion of motion. Light freckles splatter his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, making his bight sky-blue eyes pop off his golden skin. I touch his hair tentatively and hold his cheek with the other hand. He nuzzles my palm. I roll a honey colored curl in my fingers before pulling lightly and watching it bounce back into its place.

"You are the embodiment of beauty, Max," I say, voice popping and crackling. His cheeks color and I brush the pink skin with my claw. I sigh, slumping a little, eyes drawn to the monstrous hand. He grabs it and intertwines our fingers. He kisses my hand and I smile at him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. His cheeks. The tip of his nose. Then, our lips meet softly in the middle. I simply press the skin together. He follows me, I think. He buries his fingers in my black hair. I pull away and pushing my head into the crook of his neck. I smell him and he rubs his hands down my back soothingly. Tears well up again, but this time from joy.

"Thank you," I whisper lovingly into his shirt.

"Thank you," he whispers back, pressing a kiss to my temple. I smile.

My name is Kai, I am the monster under the bed, I am Max's monster.