𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐂𝐚𝐟𝐞

- Prologue -

DAYBREAK CAFÉ 🍁

☕ "Are you sure about this, you'll be broke once you go there. Quitting this job isn't going to make you anything!"

☕ "Why bother doing a job that wouldn't make me happy genuinely. I'm done. I want to start a new life there."

_____________

It was idiotic.

That thought came back like a wave.

My eyes hurt, I have been on my phone all night long, but there seems to be nothing. My fingers feel numb and the anxiety is already kicking in. No job vacancies, nothing.

I was a writer, I say was because I don't know if that job was ever for me.

Writing had always been my passion, I remember I liked writing ever since I was a kid. I had no problem at all with reading up every single book that laid in their shelfs at home. It was my passion and dream. This job was my everything. But maybe I wasn't a good writer like I thought I was, maybe this 'passion' of mine was just a load of crap that gave me confidence along the way. I didn't recognize this part of me. This body feels like a vessel at the moment. A vessel without a soul, just continuing it's purpose because it's still able to. 

 Life feels meaningless right now. What happened to my dreams, plans future? Or is this the shithole I have been dreaming of for years now? Was I always supposed to just continue living this way, like a dog? Barking at commands?

But actually, if writing was never my thing, I wouldn't be able to sell anything right? And that was the problem. I sound like I have a bipolar issue right now. And there we go,  I'm self diagnosing again.

 Typical...

My first book wasn't that great but my second book was phenomenal.

I was an international bestseller.

I keep on saying was because I don't know if I'd ever work again as a writer after enduring the amount of hypocrisy at my old place.

I brushed that thought away and continued walking towards the bus I was taking, I didn't quite know if I was actually making the right move but I needed to leave this place.

My company wasn't the only headache, there was so much more I hated about Kuala Lumpur.

Trauma, was probably that word but I would never compare myself to a depressed person because to be depressed you must show the world that you are.

Your job supposed to hurt you, you should have no friends, you're supposed to be lonely or broke. Society will never call you depressed if you have all of the above but a good firm mental health. It felt sickening and I felt like completely disappearing.

I could go on talking and talking about all the things I wasn't happy about, but I'm deciding to be a little more happier these days. After all, I had not been happy for such a long time now.

It feels funny that I feel so empty these days, my therapist says I need to start receiving more rather than giving out everything I have. But what does she actually mean by that? Does she mean it in a physical sense or rather in an emotional sense? Either way, receiving itself feels very selfish.

I am like an empty wound sack. Dried and static. I feel nothing these days, and maybe that's the problem. But why does it feel like somewhat of a curse? I have been a kind person as far as I can remember. Why do bitter things like this only happen to people like me?

Moving from Kuala Lumpur is going to be a big move since I'm heading somewhere without any experience, knowledge or anyone to accompany me with. I was scared if I'm being brutally honest, but I needed to escape this hell hole for once.

I took out my earphones, I needed to just relax. I put in the earphones in my ears and watched as the bus took off with the rain pouring down.

 It'll go away, It'll be alright.

Maybe this is just all in my head? Maybe moving to away will heal me?

I closed my eyes as the melodramatic angelic voice of Chris Martin started singing softly.

🍂🍁

[ The scientist - coldplay. (Plays) ]

Thank you for reading the prologue of 'Daybreak Cafe', see you in part one ! ☕🍂