Both of us sit down by my apartment's small balcony, exhaling for a moment at the same time.
"Ah, Y/N" He sighs again. "I think I lost count on how many years we've spent together."
"I know, right?" I smile. "We had so much of fun together."
"Yeah." He agreed, leaning on the wall.
Both of us look up to the midnight sky, letting the small breeze brush caress our skin. As a person who love silence and a human presence, this is a huge win for my introverted self. Another bingo to the sleeping ground below my small but cozy home.
As a person who was raised in a poisonous family and background, nothing ever given to me easily. Anything I want was only met with manipulation tactics by my parents and a drama worthy show for something small. A small mistake is a huge one for them, and a single drop of marks on my grades is a huge F in their eyes.
I remember crying and crying an crying non-stop when I was younger, for getting beaten by my father for 'talking back', when I was just trying to start a conversation, while my other siblings are allowed to do it and considered 'smart' and 'well-educated' for it.
Getting myself out of the house was another level of family drama. It was worth it though, I managed to get myself kicked out of the house. Which means I will have to pave my own way in order to survive.
That's when he came into my life and changed everything. Soon enough, he's not just a friend to me, but a part of me.
Every single thing he did for me is too much for my fragile heart to bear, until I--
Don't you ever think about that Y/N! My mind yelled at me. He is never gonna be yours, knowing that he doesn't feel the same for you.
The thing is--yes I have huge feelings for the man who's sitting a meter away from me. Not just feelings at this point--love.
However, I never experienced any sort of love. Which is why I'm confused whether it was a real one, or a temporary one. If I want to have a life partner, I must make sure it's someone I love and cherish, as well as the one who will never treat me like the people in my past did.
I focused on the sky and its beautiful yet underrated details. The glittery stars spreading around, the big fat moon just lazing in one spot while the clouds do the movements, the blinking light of an airplane doing its transportation job while whining loudly--
"Y/N." Hoseok's voice interrupts my train of thoughts.
"Uh yeah?" I snap back to reality and turn to my right to see him.
"It's getting cold." He rubbed his cactus-like arms, teeth chattering.
It took me a while to realize that I was shivering like crazy too. "Let's go in, Hobi." I call out his nickname, as I open my sliding door and ushered him in, while the cold wind continues to howl on our ears.
We settle down on our two single mattresses with a few meter gap in the living room. Each was layered with comforters and pillows with designs of our choice, as part of our sleepover tradition. A lit nigh lamp located a little distant away displays a dark but lit atmosphere. An atmosphere of relaxation and comfort.
For personal reasons, this is something I could never let go of. Especially with a man that I--
ShUt uP! You need to SHUT UP!
I let out a small sigh for myself. It seems it's better to suppress our true feelings rather than causing a whole drama. Just like how I always 'start' a drama at home.
