Mao has been thinking about one thing, a lot. More than usual.
Ritsu.
Mao's mind has been filled with him. He pays attention to the smallest of details about him. How is fang curves over his lip while he naps in class, how his hair drips over his eyes, and how his tongue sticks out. He finds it oddly adorable whenever Ritsu teases him. Mao has no idea why he's thinking about Ritsu this way, and why it's affecting him so much. He can hardly concentrate in class whenever he sees Ritsu sleeping right beside him.
It's been a few months since he has had these... feelings. He wasn't sure what to call them. But after awhile, he's finally came to a conclusion.
"Maa-kun~" Mao snapped out of his thoughts and looked up to see Ritsu standing at his desk. "It's time to go now, it's the end of the school day." Mao gets up and grabs his bags, and walks out of the school with Ritsu.
They're both walking together and talking, when they stop in front of a vending machine. "Would you like something sweet or bitter?" Mao asks. Ritsu replies, "I want something sweet. As sweet as Mao~."
Mao feels his cheeks heat up as he puts the coins in the slot. Has he always felt this way whenever Ritsu teases him?
He tosses the canned coffee over him, and cracks his can open. He takes a sip and says, "did you fall asleep in class today, again?"
"Nah," Ritsu says, "I kept staring at you. You were the one that fell asleep. Do you need to take a break from work or something?"
"I... maybe I do." Mao hasn't really thought about it. He doesn't really care about himself with this kind of stuff, he doesn't want to let his peers or Ritsu down.
It's silent as they keep walking down the neighborhood. Nobody is saying anything, and it's making Mao a bit uncomfortable.
"I've been thinking about something a lot." Mao says suddenly, and he's surprised at his own comment. "Like what?" Ritsu asks as he throws the can away.
"Um... about us. I've been thinking about... us. Our relationship, I guess? About everything we've done together..." Why was Mao so nervous about this? He can easily talk about anything with Ritsu with comfort, but his heart keeps beating fast.
"Is there anything you'd like to change?" Ritsu asks, glancing at him. "Are you not satisfied...?" Ritsu was unsure of what the hell Mao was talking about. Their relationship? Does he...?
"I think so. But i don't know my own feelings. So I don't know."
They eventually arrive at Mao's house, leaving the topic dissolve in the air. After all, what was Mao supposed to add to it, anyways? That he loves him? No no, impossible. Mao's mind is just playing tricks on him.
—
"It's midnight, Ricchan. Go to bed."
"Don't feel like it. After all, I keep thinking about what you said." Ritsu says sleepily.
Mao feels slightly annoyed. "Can you let go of that already? I wasn't... thinking when I said tha-"
"Why did you mention it then? Explain. Explain what's on your mind, Maa-kun." Ritsu sits up and looks over at him.
They both stare at each other until Mao sighs and gets into bed. Mao doesn't know where to start. There's no use turning back now, Mao knows Ritsu will just keep bothering him about the topic. They have made a promise as kids, that they'll tell each other everything. Ritsu hated secrets, so they'll tell each other everything.
Mao wished he wasn't in this situation right now. He wished he could have more time to think, but what was there to think about? Was he just afraid of rejection?
"I... um... I started to think about you a lot. Not just the usual. Like, a lot. I was wondering what you were doing today, what you thought, what you dreamt about when you woke up today. I keep noticing stuff about you. About... your overall appearance. And other stuff." Mao paused and realized how he hasn't took a breath since his rant. The air was full of tension.
He decided to continue.
"And... I started to think of you romantically. I don't know when this started, maybe a few months ago? Or a year ago? U-Um... I feel excited to see you or even think about you. I want to h-hold your ha..." Mao stopped himself. No. He can't do this. He just... can't.
"I can't do this. I'm sorry. This was a mistake. I didn't mean to..."
Ritsu put his hand on top of his, and curled his fingers around his. Mao heard Ritsu giggle and say, "Funny how we both feel the same way."
Mao looks up at him and sees him smiling, and his cheeks a light pink. He doesn't look like he's teasing Maa-kun or anything. He looks genuine.
"I... I think I..." Before Mao says anything, he feels Ritsu's hand touches his face. He feels Ritsu's lips touch his. Mao doesn't know what to do, the only thing he can do is kiss back.
"I've always love you, Maa-kun."
