Your name is John Egbert.
Today is your 20th Birthday.
Your plans?
Absolutely fuckin nothing.
You moved out of the Human Kingdom a while ago, leaving your ectobiological mother, Jane Crocker to be the legal representative of said kingdom.
You live alone in your house, the same house you've lived in your whole life, once a tourist attraction in the Consort Kingdom, now just some house that you live in.
You open your phone to a slew of messages ranging from paragraphs about how you're a lovely person, to "happy bday bro - turntechGodhead"
One sender stands out to you.
undyingUmbrage.
You've definitely never heard of this person before. You don't really give your SnapChum info out to just anyone. Maybe a mistake. You hesitantly open the image.
"COME AT ME BRO" says text overlayed on a very angry green skull child you vaguely remember beating the shit out of.
You wrack your brain for an insult to send back
"step off" you send
Goddamn you suck at being mean. Too bad this kid deserves it.
He sends another image. Some purple clown troll with a penis hat and facial scars and giant horns is holding the camera now with a robot bunny and the furious green child in the background. This is so fucking weird.
"COME TO MY DARK CARNIVAL. "MOTHER FUCKER"." he sends.
Who the hell does this kid think he is.
You're already sick of his shit either way.
You draw your hammer from your practically ancient STRIFE SPECIBUS
You try and look menacing. You're sick of this kids shit.
"I'll do it..." you send, holding the hammer
You send it. Holy shit what are you doing right now.
The kid sends a pic of him with a gun pressed against the bunny.
"MAKE A MOVE, AND THE BUNNY GETS IT."
You don't need to deal with this right now.
You smash your hammer directly into the phone screen and it goes black.
About damn time.
...
This birthday sucks.
YOU ARE READING
After Homestuck
Fanfictiona fanon homestuck sequel thingy that isnt the epilogues or hs^2 so its automatically not the worst
