WHY WOULD YOU EVER KISS ME?

Time and time again, you had wondered about what you truly wanted in life. The world had opened up so many options and choices for how you wanted to live. You could have a family. Perhaps a husband or wife with little children to run around the house, laughing with bright smiling lit on their faces. Or perhaps you could live a lonely life, with no children, lovers, nor grandchildren. Maybe you could have a boring life, watching everything fade away as you woke up and simply went to sleep with the same routine every day and night.

The thoughts of a family brought smiles to your face. Being able to take care of little babies and watch them grow as you and your spouse grew older and older. Sometimes a certain man would come to mind. His unruly chocolate brown hair that splayed out in different directions, his vibrant green eyes that could pierce your soul and make you weak in the knees, his muscular body but slim waist. Everything about him made your heart race and beat violently in your chest. The man was truly special in every way. He pressed every one of your buttons and made you angry, but even so, he has slithered right into your heart.

You were bold, always speaking your mind. It angered you to no end to be silenced and not have control of your own tongue and throat. You were truly a free spirit and wanted to live life your own way. To live the best life there was. But every time you thought of the life you really wanted, that damn Joseph Joestar plagued your mind. You couldn't think of anything but him in the past month. His deep and sultry voice was like music to your ears and every time your eyes met with his you couldn't help but look away. The way his lips moved when he spoke, the way the muscles in his arms twitch every now and again, the way he ended every sentence with a bright smile, the ghost of a smile that was held on his lips when spoken to. You could go on forever about him and the small, almost unnoticeable, habits he had.

So when you had received the grim news of his and his comrades' death, your throat squeezed tightly and you couldn't form a single word. Your eyes were heavy with tears that spilled down your cheeks. The happiness that had built-in your world had begun to crumble around you. Everything that had happened to you before that point had begun to fade-away. His face permanently engraved in your mind, haunting your every step. You wished that you could've been there for him during his last moments, even wishing to just know his final words. You could barely make it to his funeral, just barely stepping out of the black car.

As most of the guests had walked away, few remained, and that included you. You couldn't even shed a few tears as your eyes traced over every detail of his grave. Your eyes were blank. Your mind was blank. Your whole life was blank. The only thing that was ringing in your ears were his last words to you. "I promise I'll come back safely, (Y/N)! Don't you even worry about me." You clenched your jaw as his voice rang out again and again in your head. He lied to you. He said he'd come back, but he didn't. The only thing he brought back was a damn gravestone. You wanted to scream out. You wanted to let out all of your emotions. You had cried days on end just to see a gravestone with his name on it. "Damn you.." you muttered out with resentment. You hated him for leaving you all alone. You dug your heel into the soft-ish dirt as you clenched your fists.

You began to turn away from his grave, starting to walk away. A car had driven into the cemetery, most likely someone visiting another person's grave. A frown was prominent on your face, and you hadn't even gotten a few steps away when you heard the car's door close near Joseph's resting place. You stopped in place, turning towards the person. You didn't even know why you did. There was no reason to turn around, yet your whole body had just done it on its own accord. Your face had turned from grim to surprise. Immense surprise. You watched as the man you had grown to love shock all of his friends and family, and soon after, Suzie Q had followed after. Swinging her hips as she walked towards him. He and she both presented themselves as wife and husband to everyone's surprise.

Even when you thought your tears had been shed, they rolled down your cheeks silently. You couldn't help but turn away when he looked over at you. You shut your eyes tightly, feeling another wave of tears rush down your face. Your form shriveled up as your hands raised up to your chest, gripping at each other. His voice had boomed closer to you, calling out your name and a string of words. Short breaths escaped you in hurried motions. His hand gripped your shoulder as she forcibly turned you to face him.

It felt as if your heart was physically tearing itself apart as his face beamed brightly down at your own. "(Y/N)! Did you miss me?" He spoke quickly and excitedly without missing a beat. Your lips spread to form a false smile as your head raised to meet his. A small nod of your head was enough to make him smile even brighter, if possible. "You'll never guess what!" He spoke out again, so hurriedly that you could feel his breath on your face. "What is it..?" You spoke slowly as your smile began to fade. His eyes lit up with a bright fire that held pride and happiness. "I got married!!" His booming voice echoed in your ears.

It was as if time had truly stopped right then and there. Your heart had truly begun to rip into pieces as you took in his every word. The world around you had come to a standstill as it was just you. Just you in the darkness of your own mind. You thought that you'd prepared to say everything you'd wanted to say if you had ever seen him again. You thought that you would be ready. But you were wrong. You were always wrong. You didn't even notice the man continue to ramble on until he poked your forehead.

The tears in your eyes blurred your vision before rolling down your cheeks. The hot, salty tears burned your face slightly as you bit your lip. You couldn't help but feel jealous and stupid. Why would he ever love someone like you? You could barely match him in Hamon and weren't even that interesting. When you were always feeling sad or depressed, the thought of the man-made your heart flutter and filled you with delight. Just knowing he was even there had brought you joy, but now– now all that filled your heart was sorrow and anger. You had missed your chance, just like always. He continued to speak, a concerning smile etched on his beautifully sculpted face. Before he could say anything more, you turned from him and started walking away. He hadn't even attempted to stop you, as a grim smile spread across your face.

You missed your chance. There was nothing you could do to change that now. Perhaps it would just be better to move on.