The Cyborg and the Marine [South Park - Crenny (Craig x Kenny)]

The Cyborg and the Marine

"That's a really cool looking super soaker, Craig."

"Thanks Kenny. I got it for my birthday a few weeks ago. I haven't been able to try it out yet, but this seemed like the perfect excuse to take it out."

"Should I feel honored that you're willing to sacrifice your new toy for my cause?" Kenny smiled.

"Damn right, you should." Craig chuckled to himself as he took the water gun out of the box. "But you know I hate Cartman just as much as the next kid. Also that New Kid sucks by association."

"They sure do. Kyle swears that Cartman is just using the New Kid in some weird fucked up plan he has for world domination, but I'm not so sure."

"I'd believe it. It's not like he hasn't done that kind of shit before."

"Good point."

Kenny shifted nervously as he put together his costume. It wasn't too often that he played alone with Craig, but it felt nice. Nice, but a little nerve wracking.

"Hey Craig?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for playing on my side. I know it's not really fancy and Cartman has a lot more resources, but..."

"Seriously, dude? Do you think I'd pick cowboys and pirates over space? You don't know me very well, huh?"

Kenny laughed and scratched his head. "Not as well as I'd like to." His eyes widened and he blushed at the implications of his words. "I mean, you seem cool, so I'd like to hang out with you more often. Stan, Kyle, and Cartman aren't really into sci-fi stuff that much, so I kinda have to keep it to myself cause they'd just rip on me for being a nerd. I guess I could hang out with Stoley, but let's be real, I'd lose all my street cred if I did that."

Craig laughed, making Kenny frown. "What's so funny?"

"The fact that you think you have street cred."

"Fuck you, Tucker." Kenny smiled as Craig flipped him off.

"So what's your character supposed to be, Kenny? Obviously I'm a badass space marine, but I'm not really sure why you have a fucking colander on your head."

"I'm a cyborg..." He narrowed his eyes and moved in so close to Craig that their noses were almost touching. "...cause you can't fucking kill me." He smirked at Craig's stunned silence and slight blush that appear in his cheeks.

"Okay...that's super cool. I'm glad I have the unstoppable cyborg on my side." Craig took a step back, feeling a little uneasy at the strange sensation of butterflies in his stomach. "So, uh...what should I use to fill up my super soaker? Water just seems boring."

The two boys thought hard for a moment before Kenny beamed with a wicked idea.

"There's this deep puddle next to a big ass pile of garbage behind my house. Would dirty garbage water not be too boring for you?"

"Nope. That'd work." The two boys grabbed a cup and a funnel from the kitchen and headed outside.

When they reached the back of Kenny's house, they found the garbage pile and the puddle, but the also found a stray meth head, pantless and pissing into the puddle. Kenny shooed the addict, who wandered away into the woods.

Craig raised his eyebrows at Kenny, silently questioning him. "You get used to them," Kenny sighed. "This plan is ruined then. Got any other ideas?"

"Nah, this is perfect. How pissed off do you think Cartman and the New Kid will be when they get drenched in dirty garbage pee? It'll be fucking hilarious."

"I like your thinking, Craig."

They carefully scooped up the gross liquid and poured it into the water gun, being extra careful to not get any on their hands. Just as they were about to put the cap back on the water gun, they heard Cartman's voice ringing from down the street.

"Come on, New Kid! To Kenny's house! Charge!"

The two boys looked at each other and smiled.

"You ready to fuck them up?" Craig asked as he gave his super soaker a few pumps to load up the liquid ammo.

"As long as I have you by my side? Definitely."