I've Been Thinking Too Much (Help Me)

Every damn time I see Morgana on screen in s1 and s2 I just want to help her so much. So, because I love her, I wrote a fic where she gets the help she needs :) And I finally got to write more Gwen in this series as well yay :D Plus the story has a bit of Merthur at the end and also some subtle Gwen/Morgana if you like that. It can be interpreted only as friendship though. Merthur, not so much :D

The title is a reference to Twenty One Pilots. I've been listening to them a lot lately.

Enjoy! :)

. . .

I'VE BEEN THINKING TOO MUCH (HELP ME)

. . .

Merlin clutched the flowers in his hands nervously and took a deep breath. He was sweating. And slightly shaking. He . . . he probably shouldn't be here—waiting outside the Lady Morgana's chambers, slowly raising his fist up to knock on the door.

Gaius wouldn't want him to be here. He wouldn't want him to talk to Morgana. He wouldn't want Merlin to help her. But Gaius didn't understand, he . . . he didn't know what it was like. Merlin did. And now that Morgana was going through the same thing that he'd gone through, he needed to help her. Just like Gaius had helped him. Because . . . because Gaius refused to help Morgana in the same way . . .

Merlin took a deep breath one more time and hoped that Morgana was there and that Gwen would answer the door. He didn't want to do this—stand in front of the door with his heart beating too fast—again.

When he finally gathered enough courage to knock on the wood, Gwen opened almost immediately. Merlin quietly raised his hand with the flowers, and once Gwen saw them, she smiled at him.

"How is she?" he asked.

Gwen stepped aside to let him in and closed the door, taking the flowers.

"I've never seen her like this before. I'm scared to leave her on her own."

Only now Merlin noticed that Morgana was in her bed, asleep but constantly moving and tossing beneath the covers. It seemed he'd have to come some other time after all—once she was awake—so that he could talk to her.

Gwen gave Morgana a worried smile as she put the flowers into a light blue vase on the table, undoubtedly glad that Morgana was getting some sleep. Merlin knew that she didn't sleep much after the fire. Or even before that. Or maybe ever. With her nightmares. He just hoped Gaius' potions were helping her.

It happened when Gwen returned to Merlin by the door, reaching for the door handle to let him out.

Morgana gasped loudly in her bed, making them both turn around to look at her worriedly.

She was sitting, her eyes wide, staring at the vase with flowers. She didn't seem to see them, when her eyes widened in fear and the vase shattered into a million little pieces flying all over the room.

Gwen turned to Merlin to shield her face in his chest and Merlin put his arms around her, closing his eyes. As soon as it was over though and Morgana was gasping and whimpering in her bed, Gwen was already on her way to her side, carefully brushing away the shards of glass from the bed and rushing to give Morgana a hug.

"I'm here, I'm here."

"Gwen!" Morgana sobbed. "It's magic, I know it is, I'm not mad, I'm—I'm not imagining this—"