The Darker Side of Hope

Warning: This one-shot is rated PG-13 for dark themes, situations, and adult language. Just saying.

And like the title suggests, this one is a bit darker than what I’ve written in the past, so be prepared for it. This story peels back a layer to take a bit of glance at Lane’s Fea relatives, and just how her bloodline affects her, and who she’s become at this point in the story. It’s a definite glimpse at the darkness she now knows she harbors.

The Darker Side of Hope

 

"Would you like to accompany me or would you rather stay here in our rooms?"

I finally turned away from the open doors of the balcony and turned to face Legolas. "I think I'd rather stay here," I answered with a shrug, striving for a careless affect.

But Legolas must have seen through the charade, or perhaps heard my heart rate kick up a notch at his suggestion, for he came closer, gently grasping my shoulders.

"You do not have to leave our chambers if you are not yet ready," he assured me. "There are things I must attend to, but I shall be back shortly."

Stepping out of his grip, I turned back to the open doors and moved to stand out in the warm breeze of the balcony.

"I'm not a child who needs constant supervision," I snapped at the wind. "You can leave me alone for more than a few minutes at a time."

I didn't turn to face him, but I could feel the tenseness as Legolas stood behind me. But he didn't rise to my words, refusing to take my bait. All too soon, he silently slipped from the room.

Why I continued to bait him, I wasn't even sure I could articulate. I only knew that the anger that had lived within me for so long had become something else. Nearly a living thing I was too terrified to examine further. Too terrified to expose it to the light.

And so I continually tried to pick fights. Tried to make him feel even a shadow of the anger churning in my very soul.

Yet, despite my angry words to him, I acutely felt the emptiness and silence of the room with his departure. My breathing became shallower, but I focused on the open air and sky above the trees of the surrounding forest and tried to calm my frayed nerves and emotions. The silence was deafening, and I slowly rubbed at the ringing quiet of the dead air resounding in my ears.

I hated the all too familiar silence, but the busyness of the colony was nearly as bad. It was more overwhelming. Commotion and sounds of life that were so unfamiliar to me now.

When Legolas had first brought me through the forest to the colony, the elves had quickly gathered to watch me pass, but held themselves back in a strange, awed sort of reverence as they watched me walk into the colony. Hating the way they had stared at me, I had hardly left Legolas's rooms in the main building since, although more than a week had passed since my unexpected arrival. 

Word had quickly spread about my return, and Legolas had been flooded with couriers bearing letters from nearby lords I'd never heard of. And as time passed, letters continued their influx from the further reaches. Even Aragorn—whom Legolas had said was now Elessar—and his queen had sent a letter of well wishes and hopes that I would visit the White City.

But I had no more wish to visit so large a city than I had wish to see any of the number of visitors who seemed to knock on our door almost daily asking to see me and inquiring as to how I was. I couldn't stand the thought of their pitying stares. Couldn't stand the thought that they might see through the veil to what I'd become.