Aesthetic Love

Lonely Aesthetic

(Olivia's POV)

Here we go again. I rub the tired from my eyes but it never seems to go away. Maybe that is part of my curse? Possibly. I'm not sure anymore. But since when was I sure about anything?

I got ready and notice people outside my window, walking down with purple lights in hand, and decorated in purple or black or white clothes. I decorate myself in a black dress and black heels. I grab my keys and phone and put it into my small purple purse. My favorite color is purple so I'm glad to have woken up for this festival. I leave the house.

I walk down the streets at night, tons of lights on everywhere along the streets. It's in shops and streetlamps and faces. There are so many people out tonight, having a festival maybe? I wasn't invited, but have I ever been invited anywhere anymore? I follow the crowd, in all the purple lighting, String lights of purple are splayed between the shops overhead. I find it all perfect.

Someone who works at a stand near where I had stopped to look around, offers me a sparkling apple juice in a glass bottle. I pop open the twistable bottle cap. I sip and try to pay the stand.

"No,no hon, It's for free." The old lady says sweetly, eyes barely visible with her smiling and squinting to see my face.

"Thank you, so much. I really need this." I nod at her and she nods back. I walk off into the crowd. And what I said was true. I did need this. It reminds me of my childhood. Way back when I was 12, my step dad would buy this for us and let us sip it during parties. Sometimes, I wish I could go back, but I was still depressed back then.

I finally stop following the crowd and stop on the curb where a soft band is playing a song about flowers and loving them enough to kill them for someone. Its all poetic and perfect here. Apparently this tiny town has had a festival for every color known to man. The people here are a close community and everyone knows each other as family and friends and sometimes lovers. Tourists come just to see the Color Festivals. I haven't been to many because I'm either too busy having a mental breakdown or sleeping really early. I had realized a while ago from asking and having chitchat with others that there is one every night and that they just restart when there are no more colors to think about. This little town has been here in this spot since as long as anyone remembers.

I moved here when my parents kicked me out. I had first come as a tourist for the Color Festivals. At that time they were at this salmon color. I had went to a beautiful little bakery for desserts and sweets. I was going there to buy a cake for my 17th birthday. It was when I wanted to indulge my urges then die.

Yes, I was planning to kill myself that night. But after I either finished the cake or till the festival was over. But I couldn't finish the cake so I gave the last piece to a little girl next door since it was also her birthday and she was turning 9 and they apparently didn't have enough money to buy anything for her birthday.

Yeah, yeah, I know, wow I'm so kind! I just try to compensate for all the torture I cause myself.

I walk around again to a shop almost like Evangeline's in Sac. I feel tired and worthless as I walk around, looking at things. The key chains, miniature things, the pens, decorative journals, small satchels and such other things. I look around at the miniature flip knives. They aren't sharp and they are the length of the top of my thumb, and you have to pull the tiny unsharpened blade manually

"Hey, miss," I look to see that girl. It's been years now but now she is 16, with her family standing nearby it seems. Did I mention that I'm 23?

"Do you remember me?" She asks, and smiles. I nod and smile falsely but I do try so hard.

"I never got your name, what is it?" I ask her.

"Isabelle. But you can call me Bell." She replies, "and you're Olivia, right?"

"Yeah... how did you know that?"

"Everyone calls you a Lonely Aesthetic. It means that you look aesthetically pleasing when you're lonely."

"Izzy!" Her parents call.

"oh, I gotta go. See you later, Lonely Aesthetic!" She waves me off and follows after her family.

"Bye..." I say when she is out of ear shot. I check instagram, Everyone from here follows em and all of them are not private accept a few families but I start checking the feed and realize that... Isabelle was right.

Most of the pictures were from my insta account, and made into colored aesthetics. I search Lonely Aesthetic and see the photos come onto the screen. I put away my phone and look to the sky past all the lights, people, shops, shows, and most of all, myself.

I think we are all lonely aesthetics.

Quote 1:
"Sometimes, I stare at the sky and thank whoever is listening for showing me an angel."

////IM SO SORRY ITS SO SHORT! I WILL CERTAINLY MAKE A LONGER ONE SOONER OR LATER HAHA. THANKS FOR READING AND HOPEFULLY YOU ENJOYED IT! STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE!////