Alleviate (One Direction FanFic)

Chapter One

Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Or so the saying goes.

I thought that phrase had always been pointless. As humans, we are naturally judgmental creatures. It’s hardwired into our brains since our existence. We constantly make assumptions before seeing the bigger picture. We are drawn by beauty; a sight, a sound, an idea. Anything that demonstrates beauty will attract our attention. I thought humans are inherently judgmental. 

I thought wrong. 

Now I know the true meaning of the saying. People are too quick to judge. If you truly walked a mile in my shoes, I know you wouldn’t judge me. But if you haven’t walk in my shoes, then don’t judge me, don’t think that you know what’s it like to be me. The repetitive phrases people would tell me echoed in my brain.

How are you?

A question they asked too many times it turned to become more of habitual custom when they see me rather than actually being concerned about my current wellbeing.

I’m sorry. 

Sorry? What are you sorry for exactly? I don’t want your apology. I don’t want you pity. Don’t tell me that the grief you’re experiencing is as great as mine. It’s not you who lost your family. It’s me. There’s really nothing you can say but let me grieve in peace.

How are you holding up?

The worst question a person could’ve ask me. How do you think I’m holding up? Oh, I just lost my dad, mom and little sister to a drunk driver, but other wise I feel fine. Please don’t ask me a question you’ll know the answer to. My family was ripped away from me, how am I supposed to feel?

“Aria.” A hand reached out for my shoulder, shocking me back into reality.

“Niall,” I breathed out shakily.

He gave me a small assuring smile and put his arm around my shoulder. “I knew I’d find you here,” He said softly.

I leaned into his chest and looked at the three tombstones before us. The flowers scattered on it still fresh. Daniel Winters, Sandra Winters, Amelia Winters. The closest person who know how I feel will probably be Niall. As my best friend since childhood, my family was close with him. My father would watch football with him, my mother would bake him food, my sister had a major crush on him but wouldn’t admit it. They loved Niall as much as they love me, and Niall looked at them as a second family. For the first time, I let the tears escaped. For the first time, I cried for the death of my family. Niall didn’t say much, not that I wanted him to. His presence provided enough comfort for me.

At 8, I thought pain was falling down your bike and scraping your knee.

At 13, I thought nothing in the world was as painful as the tonsillitis I was diagnosed with.

At 16, I thought I could never recover from the heartache inflicted by my boyfriend of two years.

But I realized now, none of that prepared me for this. Their deaths did not just leave me with thorns embedded in my heart. No, these thorns were alive. They’re squeezing the life out of me, making each breath I take more painful than before. Its thorns lodged itself deeper and deeper in my heart. It’s not seen, but the blood bleeds inside. 

“You should be packing, you’re leaving for London in three days,” Niall broke the silence as gentle as he could.

“I don’t think I’m going.” I said monotonously.

Niall took his arm off my shoulders and placed each hand on my arms, making me look at him. “Aria. You have every right to be sad, to hate the world for everything that’s happened, but I’m not going to let you throw away you’re future. You’ve got accepted into UK’s leading university, you have to take it. I know it’s only been a month, but there’s nothing you can do if all you do is lock yourself at home and sulk all day long. I miss them too, okay.” Niall’s Irish voice broke at the end. I hugged the blonde boy. “As much as I’m going to miss you here in Mullingar, you have to go. You deserve a bright future. You’ve been talking about this University for as long as I can remember.” He chuckled sadly.

I looked up at his blue eyes, assessing him before nodding. I debated with myself before speaking. “Sorry I have been a jerk. You’re crazy to still want to be my friend.” To be honest, I know I wasn’t the easiest to be around lately, I practically suck the life out of things. It’s nice of Niall to still be by my side. I just want him to know he’s appreciated. 

Niall laughed. “Now what kind of bestfriend would I be if I let you fend of yourself? Once a crazy, always a crazy, remember?”

 “Crazy’s an adjective.” I pointed out bluntly.

“See? This is why you’re the one going to the top university in UK and not me.” He grinned. I cracked a small smile.

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A/N: This is just a little teaser chapter, mostly trying to set a background for the story. More of the One Direction boys will show up throughout the book, but what do you think so far?