I Love You to Death

If Henry could describe the days following the destruction of the Toppat satellite, he'd probably use blurry or dull. It was like being in a dream. Everything seemed slow and unreal, feeling nothing but a numbness that seemed to add tones of gray to the world. After he had returned, after the funeral, General Galeforce had told him of their plans to sift through the remains of the Toppat satellite. There had been the lingering of an unspoken invitation to join in the effort when he was told this, but Henry's dejected expression answered for him. No, Henry did not even humor the idea, he returned home instead.

The second day after Charles' death (or he assumed so, but he couldn't keep track of time well in this state), Ellie visited. They both just sat on the couch, a moment of silence between the two stretching into an hour before she spoke up. "I know I didn't really know him that well, but he sounded like a great guy."

"One of the best," Henry rasped. He hadn't spoken in days.

Ellie nodded. "I can tell he meant a lot to you," Ellie continued, "That one time we were all together, it was plain as day how much he meant to you."

"He meant more to me than he'd even known," Henry replied with a bitter laugh.

"I know," she sighed, "It was in the way you looked at him with a certain gentleness. I don't think I've seen you like that before or after."

He laughed again, more at Ellie's cleverness than out of bitterness this time. "I guess you already know then. I was in love with Charles."

"I can't imagine what this must be like for you."

"You know what's strange? I don't think I can either. I mean, I know that I'm feeling things- or maybe that I'm not feeling things- but I can think of how to describe it." Henry sighed. "What I wouldn't give to get him back..."

After what could have been a day or could have been a month but most just felt like radio static, Henry received another call from General Galeforce. "We found him," the General told him.

Henry felt a hot sense of dread welling up inside of him, making him feel like he was going to burst into flames, or at least vomit. "Oh?" he whimpered despite his best effort to sound composed.

"It's good news, Stickmin," General Galeforce clarified, "Charlie is alive. We don't know how, but he's alive."

Somehow, the sick feeling in his stomach seemed to grow and twist, making him feel even more like he was going to puke, but the gray tint to the world finally seemed to fade away. "Alive?" Henry echoed, his voice just barely audible.

"He's in bad shape. We believe he's in a comatose state, and the fact that nobody's tended to him yet definitely puts him even further into a possible fatality, but the medics we brought along for the mission are confident that they'll be able to keep him alive," Galeforce explained, then, as if an afterthought, he added, "The fact that he survived the blast and all the time it took for him to be found... It really is a miracle."

"Yeah," Henry agreed, his voice hoarse.

"I'll keep you updated, Stickmin," the General closed out his call, his voice offering more sympathy than Henry knew Galeforce could. There was a click as the phone was hung up, leaving Henry to listen to the silence afterwards, somehow pushing down upon him like it could suffocate him. He lowered the phone down onto the table. Henry felt like screaming. Tears peaked out from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, the burning sick feeling in his still-twisted up stomach transforming into a burning rage.

Was it all for nothing? All the grief? All the pain? But, isn't this what he wanted, for it all to go away? He knew he should be happy, so why was he so angry? It was like there was a war in his heart, one side of him trying to be overjoyed at the news that Charles was alive, the other side flaming with rage that he couldn't have known soon, couldn't have been spared so much heartache, couldn't have helped Charles sooner. It felt like there was so much he couldn't have done, or wished he had done. It made his head spin and tied his stomach into tighter and tighter knots, his vision clouded with tears, so that he simply dragged himself to bed and stayed there the rest of the day.