Written In The Stars (Published Under Immac PPH)

CHAPTER 18

Written In The Stars

Valerie's POV

"Thank you, M."

The strong and cold breeze of the wind rippled through my hair as I repeatedly grasped for abeyance, my heart yearned for a break—A break from school, people, problems and heartache—It felt like I needed a break from all of those so I could clear my thoughts. But the world didn't give me what I expected, instead, I spent the entire time I had back at the hilltop with Mikhel. As I slowly felt his presence there, I never knew I needed someone to vent on so much. I never thought that I just needed someone who could listen to me.

He never interfered nor did he meddled with what I was going through, he just sat there, he listened and he never said anything that could make me question my feelings. It gave me the chance to think that he never changed, that he was the same Mikhel I met before, that he never lost that greatness in him. The sight of him there made me think that he didn't deserve my anger, I could have been more nicer, that I should let him explain. There was that feeling of security knowing he stayed by my side until I wanted to go home, and as we both stood on my porch, I found myself thanking him.

"You shouldn't thank me for anything, it was what I wanted to do." He says with a smile on his face. Somehow, I know he was as kind as he was before. I would never deny the fact that it's obvious he's the same man. It felt like I didn't deserve his treatment, after everything I have said and I have told him, he still wanted to play a part and he wanted to remind me that he will always be there for me, even if I wouldn't wish to see him anymore. "I know you needed a shoulder to cry on. And, I'm glad I was there when you needed it the most."

Mikhel was right when he said that I needed a shoulder to cry on. I would constantly make myself think that I didn't really need someone, I was reluctant on the thought that someone out there could give themselves to me whenever I needed a person that had empathy, a person I could call a safe place. There was no one in this universe that served those ways specifically, and a night where I knew I was feeling the heaviest rock placed atop my chest, it was Mikhel who stood as that person. I never expected he would be, after everything that happened...

"I'm sorry..." There was a hint of faltering in my voice, I tried to collect the right words for me to continue. This was something I have never anticipated, I didn't want to say sorry before because I thought the blame was all for Mikhel, thinking he deserved it because he was the one who left me heartbroken. I was one-sided for thinking about the situation like that, and now that things appear to be clearer than the past, I know I had to apologize for being abhorrent. "For not letting you explain, I should've listened to you before pushing you away."

"You were hurt, I understand why you had to act that way." He says while looking at me with settlement in his eyes, he was just so understanding... I know he's trying his best to make me feel better about what I did. Deep down, I know it's never hard to forgive someone... especially if it was Mikhel, he must have left for a very reasonable cause. I just don't know why I can't bring myself to forget, because in the end, he's already forgiven. Maybe I was the one who couldn't forgive myself, it's been a year of feeling helpless self-pity. "I'm sorry, too... I should have told you the truth before I left."

I desired to question why he did leave, but I was never implicit with what I was going to hear. I was affrighted with the truth that was going to unfold right before my eyes if I asked him why he left, I was scared with the possibilities that I could have failed on giving my best. That I wasn't considerate enough to see his struggles, that all those times we spent together... he was silently miserable while I was happy. But I know the time would come that I have to find out about the truth, it is the only thing that would finally help me breathe without worrying about all these bizarre assumptions in my head.