We've Got Right Now

More Than Just A Dream - Misha

I had never thought of doing this. I never thought it could happen. All these years and here we were. It was supposed to be a fantasy. It was supposed to be me and my mind. But here I am, standing. Shaking.
"Don't speak." He whispered. Right beside my ear, his warm breath blew against my neck and I smiled.
I always wondered what it would feel like.
He placed his hands on my pecks as he kissed my neck. I moaned, leaning against the wall I thought about all the times I had dreamt of this.
It was supposed to be a dream. Was this right?
I didn't even know he was into guys.
"You're beautiful." He said, still kissing my neck, working his way up across my ear and onto my cheek. "So perfect." I looked up at the ceiling and he kissed my jaw. I smiled and bit my lip.
How is this real?
How could he want me? Of all people, of all the beautiful women he's dated and here he is.
Jensen Ackles. Kissing me. Pressed up against my chest, telling me I'm perfect.
"Jensen..."
"What?" He breathed, still kissing me.
"You know what you're doing, right?"
"Well, it's about to be you-" he laughed but I cut him off.
"Stop." His smile faded and I pushed him off of me gently.
His breath smelt like cheap beer. I was his rebound. I wanted to be more than that.
"I thought this is what you wanted." His face went red.
"Just go."
I didn't notice his stagger before. I didn't notice the slur in his words. He stumbled out my trailer, with his hair messed up. Maybe it was the darkness that blinded me from the situation. Maybe it was my fantasies. Whatever it was, I felt stupid by it anyway.
Of course he was drunk. He probably didn't even notice it was me.
I was probably a girl in his mind.
I wandered over to the counter of the small kitchen in the trailer. Mail stacked in piles as I never bother to read any of it, and when I do I get distracted. Usually by my dreaming.
I ran my fingers through my hair and felt my heart drop.
I wanted him. I wanted us.