End It All (Norway x Depressed!Reader)

End It All

~How You Fell In Love~

You were extremely depressed. You hated your life, and you had scars on your wrists and hospital records to show for it. You went to a school where everyone seemed to ignore you. You felt like no one needed you. You felt unwanted. You felt unloved. You did have some five friends that were guys, and you even had a crush on one of them, Lukas Bondevik. They were there for you, but it still didn't seem to help your situation. Things had escalated and gotten worse. You were starting to think about actually ending your life, not just cutting to the point of having to be rushed to the hospital. You wanted to end it all and not ever come back.

For a week, you locked yourself in your room, refusing to eat, come out, or do anything. Then you decided it was time to make your move. Your parents could care less about you, so when you knew they wouldn't notice, you snuck out of the house and decided to go to a small meadow that you had found when you were younger. Gun in hand, you made your way to the flowery field. You brought your cell phone with you just this once. You wanted to call each of your Nordic friends and tell them that although your life would cease, you cared about them and loved them even in your death. It was midnight, so you figured none of them would answer. Well, you were partially right. Most of them didn't answer. All of them but one. You made the first four calls and then hesitated on the last one. This one would be to your crush. You bit your lip and dialed his number.
...............

Ring........

Ring........

Ring........

Suddenly the receiver picked up and there was a sleepy 'hello' coming from the other end of the line. Your breath hitched. There was a momentary pause before he seemed to look at his phone to see who was calling him that late.

"(y-y/n)? Is that you?" You heard his monotone voice crack, which was unusual. You hesitated.

"O-Oh... Lukas... Y-You weren't supposed to pick up..." You replied softly. 'Great...' You thought bitterly.

"What do you mean I 'wasn't supposed to pick up'?" He asked, his voice taking on a more worried yet suspicious tone.

"...Look... There are some things I need to tell you before I leave..." You said slowly.

"....(Y/n), you're scaring me. What do you mean 'before I leave'? You're not leaving. And what are these things that you need to tell me?" He asked, his voice getting lower and more concerned. You had never really heard this sort of emotion in his voice. You bit your lip harder, this time drawing blood.

"Lukas, you know exactly what I mean... I am leaving... This time for real... Fast and easy..." You insisted.

"No, (y/n), stop it! You don't kn-" He began but you cut him off.

"Listen, Lukas, I didn't call you to argue... I called to tell you this; You are one of the most important people to me. I really do care about you, probably more than anyone else. Just because I am leaving doesn't mean that life will end. You can move on and eventually forget about me. And I know that what I am about to say doesn't really matter.... But... I just need you to know how I feel about you before I go.... Otherwise I won't be able to go through with it... Lukas.... I love you..." You finished your goodbye speech. There was silence on the other end. And then some shuffling.

"Like I said... It doesn't matter... I was going to leave it on voice-mail but you picked up... So I'm sorr-" You tried to make it quick and apologize but he suddenly hung up on you. Your (e/c) eyes widened and you started to tear up. The pain that plagued you now felt like nothing compared to those times you would cut. He didn't respond, or even give you a chance to finish saying what you needed to say. He just... Hung up. Like your feelings didn't even matter. Like you were nothing. 'Oh.... Well, I knew that would happen anyway...' Your mind tried to reassure you. Little did you know that Lukas was doing everything he could to find you.

He had tracked down your phone when you had first called and when you had said you loved him, he knew he couldn't bear to let you go. He hung up and grabbed his jacket and ran outside into the night to find you. Right when he reached the clearing to the meadow, you were standing there, tears rolling down your cheeks and the gun's barrel pressed firmly to your head. You squeezed your eyes shut, your (h/c) hair swaying with the wind that offered to carry your life away. 'I want this...' You thought. Lukas's amethyst eyes widened and he began to run faster, determination filling his heart which beat violently against the walls of his chest. He did not want to lose you. 'Click' Nothing would stop you now. You literally had nothing to live for. Your finger laid on the trigger and you were about to pull it when you heard footsteps pounding hard against the ground and someone's familiar voice calling out, screaming for you.

"(Y/N)!!!!! STOP!!!! NO!!!!!" He yelled, running as fast as he could to get to you, all of the emotion that he felt he could never release finally breaking through it's self-built barrier and filling every part of him. Your (e/c) eyes widened in shock and you blinked. 'This can't be real...' You thought, the gun still pressed firmly to your temple. The tears spilled faster. 'W-What is he doing h-here? I thought...' You mentally choked on your words. As he neared you, he slowed, looking into your eyes. His footsteps became light and he slowly approached you, holding his hand out. You tensed up, the gun's barrel painfully being pushed harder against the temple of your forehead.

"(Y/n).... Give me the gun...." He said. You shook your head, your hands shaking. You were unstable. He neared you and nodded.

"Come on.... Please... Please, don't leave me... Give it to me... Please, (y/n)!" He tried to convince you, the desperation and hope completely dominating his irises. You slowly lowered the gun and your shaking hand willed itself to put the self-harming object into the Norwegian man's hand. You had felt so numb for the past couple of months, and then all of the sudden your body was wracked with sobs. You fell to your knees and buried your face into your hands. 

"I'm sorry!!! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry.... I-I.... I'm so sorry...." You kept stuttering out. You heard something being thrown several yards away and you felt Lukas wrap his arms around your trembling form. He held you tightly, rubbing reassuring circles into your back. You looked up at him and expected to see his normal emotionless but beautiful eyes, but what you saw was completely different. Lukas's eyes were filled with different emotions, sadness, worry, regret, care, affection...... Love? There was comfort in his eyes. There was safety. There was everything you ever needed. 

"..... Please.... Promise me that you won't try to do this to yourself again...." He insisted, looking into your (e/c) eyes sternly. You looked down and nodded shamefully. You didn't know that you had caused him that much pain.

"(Y/n), look at me." He said, using the curve of his index finger to make you look up at him. He used his other hand to gently stroke your (h/c) hair. You looked at his expression and were surprised to find that he was smiling. It was a small smile, but he was smiling.

"L-Lukas..." You said his name, blushing. "A-About that thing I said... O-Over the phone.... I-I-" You struggled to find words, but he cut you off, pressing his soft lips against yours. You were surprised at first, but you soon melted into the kiss and kissed back. Due to air, you finally pulled away.

"(Y/n), Jeg elsker deg også. (I love you too.)" He said in reply to your earlier confession. He didn't need to explain himself any further. That was all he needed to say for you to understand just how deep your connection with him was. The look in his eyes told you so much more than any of his words could ever say, and that was all you wanted. You loved him that way. You teared up again and wrapped your arms around him in an embrace. He picked you up bridal style and began to take you back to his house. Soon, you started to drift off in the warm comfort and safety of his loving arms. The last thing you muttered before your world went black was:

"Thank You."