Girl to womanhood

Changes

I still remember my mother's voice whispering in my ear as she brushed out my hair. She had such a gentle voice, much like a wind chime on a autumn day. We sat on the back porch for hours before we would retire to the living room to watch our favourite tv shows that would start around 5pm. After a few hours of this I would find myself in my bed, assuming my mother had carried me up after I had fallen asleep on her. I did not then realise how paramount these moments of her would be in my future as they are now the only things I can use to escape my reality.

Most mornings with my mother where the same. I would awake to find my breakfast set out on the counter in the kitchen downstairs and to find that my mother had already eaten hers and that she had gone to get dressed. But this particular morning seemed different whether it be the cold mist surrounding our neighbourhood or the freshness of the crispy grass that had been coated in frost on our lawn. But something was off. After finishing my breakfast I began to get dressed into what I now know to be the last piece of clothing I would ever wear.

That's not to say I do not wear clothing now. I am of course a human being aren't I? However the word clothing can not be associated with what I wear, in fact I cannot find any words to correctly describe it other than a way or means of control. You see we all wear the same well I say all, everyone like me and by that I mean a girl. Not a woman a girl. Though that may differ within the next few months of my life. You see our age is not defined as our chronological number we are assigned every year on that special day, but it is more presented as our "biological ability". This is determined by of course the most capable of species; the homo sapien man, and if we are going by their standards and records I am able to become a woman and fulfill my duty to the world in just a few short months.

I remember putting my shoes on after I had got dressed and I closed the front door behind me. I yelled bye to my mother and began to walk to the bus stop. I hated getting the bus to school as I never found myself to fit in with the other girls there. They only ever appeared to be interested in either what they where going to do on the weekend whether it be shopping or going to the cinema or whatever those type of people do in their spare time or boys. I myself had no interest in boys at the time as I always found them to be immature but there was this one guy in my grade that I had taken a liking to though I did not want to admit it at the time, I now have had many months to reminisce on the matter. However something tells me that the relationship had it ever existed would cease to survive given my current climate. As a lot has changed since this time in my life.